Far Away

Authors Note:

If you were wondering this story will most likely only be in one of my characters  POV as it can become rather confusing if I am constantly switching back and forth. I don't always write authors notes so it I do it is probably something important also each chapter will have a song that goes with it i guess the song is what inspires me while writing and that song will usually be the title of the chapter. this chapter is die alone by Ingrid Michelson.

Chapter 1 What If..

                Today was my last chance, it was now or never and though my inner chicken would have been more than happy to pick never there was a voice in the back of my head shouting at me. I didn’t want to end up an old cat lady I didn’t want to be forever alone and as my friend Sarah had so kindly pointed out if I didn’t start taking chances and talking too guys and start making in effort than that was exactly where I would end up alone forever. Besides what is the worst that can happen anyway him turning me down, would I be sad hell yes would I cry possibly I had been crushing on him for like ever but as I said before it was now or never after all we were moving tomorrow and I might never see him again. So what could it hurt if all goes well he could say he likes me too and who knows maybe we would be the first long distance couple to ever work out.

                Sighing deeply I picked up my phone from my dresser stuffed it into my jeans pocket and headed out into the cold Portland air, and with a bounce in my step I headed down the street taking in my neighborhood like it was going to be my last time walking through it committing every blossoming flower, every tree branch to memory this was after all the place I grew up the place where I always dreamed I would live forever.

I don’t even think I noticed when I got to the bus stop in fact I don’t even think I realized when I got off the bus I was to trapped in my own thoughts. Ironically though, I wasn’t thinking about Johnny not about how I started falling for him when I was in the sixth grade or how he had dominated my thoughts for the past five years how I wanted to be lost in his gaze forever, no I was lost thinking about how I was moving tomorrow away from everything and everyone I’ve known, my entire life.

When I got to his street I stopped in my tracks and looked ahead I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath my life had gotten so complicated lately and the worst part of it was it was all out of my control I didn’t want things to end up this way things were meant to be so different. And yet here I am standing outside getting ready to do something I never thought I would have the guts to do.

I felt something cold land on my head and peered up at the sky as drops began to fall it was as if the world was crying just like I wanted to but instead I pulled my hoody up and stuffed my hands in my jean pockets kicking the ground in front of me as  a puddle began to form. It was time, I needed to take the leap and tell Johnny how I really feel about him before it’s too late.

 The sound of a car pulling up had me pausing in mid stride only to see something I never would have guessed. Something that not even in a million years would I think I would see. Sarah had just pulled up in front of Johnny’s house in her dad’s car, I thought she was grounded and that was why she couldn’t come over and help me finish packing.

I watched first in confusion, than shock than lastly horror laced heartbreak as Johnny stepped outside and walked towards Sarah’s side of the car as she stepped out, they embraced and he kissed her. I brought my fists to my eyes rubbing them roughly. But there was no denying it there standing about thirty feet away from me was my best friend kissing the guy I’ve been in love with since middle school. My tears mixed with the rain as my hood fell and it was like a scene from a movie at that exact moment Sarah and I locked eyes and the expression that was on her face was one that I will never forget pain regret sadness those are all emotions I thought I would have seen but the one I saw was much more heartbreaking the one I saw made her betrayal that much worse the expression I saw was satisfaction. She looked like she had just won something.

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath “what was the worst that could happen” I whispered to myself bitterly. “At least I’ll never have to wonder what if.”

Chapter 1 What If..

                Today was my last chance, it was now or never and though my inner chicken would have been more than happy to pick never there was a voice in the back of my head shouting at me. I didn’t want to end up an old cat lady I didn’t want to be forever alone and as my friend Sarah had so kindly pointed out if I didn’t start taking chances and talking too guys and start making in effort than that was exactly where I would end up alone forever. Besides what is the worst that can happen anyway him turning me down, would I be sad hell yes would I cry possibly I had been crushing on him for like ever but as I said before it was now or never after all we were moving tomorrow and I might never see him again. So what could it hurt if all goes well he could say he likes me too and who knows maybe we would be the first long distance couple to ever work out.

                Sighing deeply I picked up my phone from my dresser stuffed it into my jeans pocket and headed out into the cold Portland air, and with a bounce in my step I headed down the street taking in my neighborhood like it was going to be my last time walking through it committing every blossoming flower, every tree branch to memory this was after all the place I grew up the place where I always dreamed I would live forever.

I don’t even think I noticed when I got to the bus stop in fact I don’t even think I realized when I got off the bus I was to trapped in my own thoughts. Ironically though, I wasn’t thinking about Johnny not about how I started falling for him when I was in the sixth grade or how he had dominated my thoughts for the past five years how I wanted to be lost in his gaze forever, no I was lost thinking about how I was moving tomorrow away from everything and everyone I’ve known, my entire life.

When I got to his street I stopped in my tracks and looked ahead I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath my life had gotten so complicated lately and the worst part of it was it was all out of my control I didn’t want things to end up this way things were meant to be so different. And yet here I am standing outside getting ready to do something I never thought I would have the guts to do.

I felt something cold land on my head and peered up at the sky as drops began to fall it was as if the world was crying just like I wanted to but instead I pulled my hoody up and stuffed my hands in my jean pockets kicking the ground in front of me as  a puddle began to form. It was time, I needed to take the leap and tell Johnny how I really feel about him before it’s too late.

 The sound of a car pulling up had me pausing in mid stride only to see something I never would have guessed. Something that not even in a million years would I think I would see. Sarah had just pulled up in front of Johnny’s house in her dad’s car, I thought she was grounded and that was why she couldn’t come over and help me finish packing.

I watched first in confusion, than shock than lastly horror laced heartbreak as Johnny stepped outside and walked towards Sarah’s side of the car as she stepped out, they embraced and he kissed her. I brought my fists to my eyes rubbing them roughly. But there was no denying it there standing about thirty feet away from me was my best friend kissing the guy I’ve been in love with since middle school. My tears mixed with the rain as my hood fell and it was like a scene from a movie at that exact moment Sarah and I locked eyes and the expression that was on her face was one that I will never forget pain regret sadness those are all emotions I thought I would have seen but the one I saw was much more heartbreaking the one I saw made her betrayal that much worse the expression I saw was satisfaction. She looked like she had just won something.

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath “what was the worst that could happen” I whispered to myself bitterly. “At least I’ll never have to wonder what if.”