FORGIVE ME (One-Shot)

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"Jaira, tapos mo na ba ang assignment mo?" My Mom asked

"Opo.." I said as a smile appeared on my face

"Good.. O sige, go dress up, we're going to the mall.." she said as she gave me a peck on the cheeks and as she told me, I got dressed and then we both went to the mall..

Since I was a child my life was already controlled by her, My dad died in a car accident while I was still inside her womb.. She's very strict, a perfectionist, gusto niya lahat neat, pati nga dress ko dapat walang punit o dapat di mapunit kapag umupo ako, dapat palagi akong perfect sa exam, dapat lagi akong mahinhin, dapat magalang ako, dapat eleganteng tingnan, dapat ganito, dapat ganyan..

Never akong nakapagbarkada dahil sa Bad Influence daw ang barkada, dapat unahin ko ang aking pag aaral.. Lahat ng gusto niya ay sinunod ko, lahat ng ginusto niya ay ginawa ko hanggang sa isang araw, nagcollege ako't lahat lahat, nagkaroon boyfriend, barkada at higit sa napalayo sa kanya.. nalunong ako sa kung ano ano'ng bisyo dala ng barkada, napariwara ang buhay dala rin ng impluwensya nila..

lumayo mula sa kanya, naging isa rin akong rebelde,..

Isang araw, nagkasagutan kami, kesyo nagbago na daw ako, wala akong kuwenta, malandi, haliparot, walang utang na loob, at kung ano ano pang nakakasakit na bagay na naging daan sa 'kin upang mabigkas ang mga bagay na ngayo'y pinagsisisihan kong hiniling ko.. na ngayo'y hinihiling na maibalik ang oras..

ang mga salitang hinding hindi ko makakalimutan..

"MATAGAL NA AKONG SUNOD SUNURAN SA'YO!! NAKAKASUKA NA ANG PAGMUMUKHA MO! SANA MAMATAY KA NA, MASAGASAAN NG TRUCK AT MAGKALASOG LASOG ANG KATAWAN! AYOKO NA SA'YO!"

at sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, nagkatotoo lahat ng hiling kong 'yon dahil makalipas lamang ang ilang araw, nabalitaan ko nalang na nasa E.R. siya, nag aagaw buhay..

"M-mom.." napasinghap ako nung makita ang halos di na makilalang mukha ng aking ina dahil sa dugong ngayon ay halos paliguan na siya..

Nabuo ang mga luha sa aking mga mata..

"M-mom.." sabi ko sa kanya, hoping that she could hear me and then, she opened her eyes and met mine then smiled

"S-sana m-ma-masa-ya k-k-ka n-na, ma-mamatay na ako, t-ta-tan-daan mo, wa-la a-kong i-bang hi-nili-ng kun-di ang mapa-sa-ma-bu-buti ka.. ma-hal na m-mahal kita a-nak, pa-kakatandaan mo i-yan.." and with that she closed her eyes then the doctors hurriedly rushed towards her, and then my tears bursted out

"N-no.. M-mom, please, don't leave me behind, you're all that I have.. please, wake up,.. I was wrong.. I love you mom, very much! I'll do everything, anything! Just please, wake up! I-I'll fix myself! I'll stop my vices.. I'll pursue my studies! Please wake up!" I said cuddling her, hoping that someone would wake me up from this horrible and terrifying nightmare but then, this is reality.. she's now gone..

I can still barely remember the days that she would be there to serve as my friend when I'm feeling alone..

She would stand for me when I'm weak..

She would be there to compliment me with my success..

She would encourage me when I'm at doubt..

I haven't noticed the good things that she have done for me.. I have only kept in my mind that she was the kind of mother whose a perfectionist..

I haven't notice that all she ever wanted for me was to become successful, for me to have no regrets but then,

Regrets are now invading my heart.. Tears won't stop from flowing down..

How could I??

I'm a worthless daughter!! I am the one to be blame!! I have done nothing right!!

It's all my fault! If only I hadn't said those stupid words! If only I obeyed her, do what she wanted,

She could still be here, hanging out with me, choosing me some dress, teaching me what's right to do, lecturing me from my mistakes,

I'd rather prefer to hear her high picthed tone of nagging me than to see her lifeless, cold,  sleeping for eternity...

Oh Mom, I'm so sorry, Please forgive me for being such an ass..

May you rest in peace..

-END- 

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Lesson: Never do something that could also make you regret in the end.

A/N: so, how was it?

Copyright © 2013 

by Shinari

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED