Partners Or Lovers?

Perfect

My heart has been broken by the one person I had ever truly loved.
I don't really know how to respond to her last comment, so I half smile and walk back to my desk.
I can tell she feels awkward, been as she runs her fingers through her hair, sighs and sits at her desk.

The day was filled with awkward conversation, I tried not to talk to her unless it was work related. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her.

I watch her as she sits at her desk fiddling with her pen.

Ring ring.. Ring ring..
She picks up her phone.
She laughs a little.
"Yeah..okay....okay...yeah...of course....yeah....okay see you in a bit...love you too" she says with a huge smile on her face.
Who was she talking to?
I suddenly feel a great pain.
Jealousy?
She gets up from her seat and walks to captains office.
She spends a few minutes in there.
"Okay. Thank you cap" she says walking out.
"No problem. Say hi to the little ones for me!" He says
LITTLE ONES?!
Olivia walks to her desk and grabs her coat and bag.
"Bye el" she says.
"Bye Liv" I say half heartedly.
I watch her as she walks away.
Who was she going to meet?!

The next day in the precinct, I walk in and see her sitting at her desk, texting on her phone.
I sit down at my side of the desk and smile at her as she looks up at me.
Her phone goes off again. She pick it up and smiles. She replies to the text.
Was she texting the same person that she met up with last night? The little ones? What?!

"Hey liv, where did you go yesterday?" I ask bluntly, I had to know.
"I went to see Simon and his kids" she replies
I feel so relieved. I sigh.
"Oh, how are they?" I ask
"They are great. Olivia has started to talk?" She says with a proud smile.
"That's great!" I reply with a huge smile.
"I taught her how to say Olivia!" She says

She was happy the whole day. So I was happy. But I still can't get over what he had said to me.
"We would never be together"
It hurt. It hurt so much. My heart feels broken. I feel sick.
I walk out of the squad room and run up to the roof. I needed to clear my head.
When I open the door to the roof the bitter winter air feels like it is cutting through my skin. It hurts. But not as much as my heart.
I walk over to the ledge and look over it.
The one person, who I really love. She had just told me we could never be together. It's the 2 year anniversary to my divorce, and the year and a half anniversary to Kathy's death.
Would she miss me if I jumped? Would anyone miss me?

"Elliot! What are you doing?! I hear a familiar voice from behind me.
I look over the edge further.
"Elliot!" The voice yells, becoming louder.
I use the tip of my foot to line the edge of the roof.
I feel a warm pair of arms wrap around my body.
"El, what are you doing?" The voice asks.
I don't answer. I just turn around. I am being held in the arms of Olivia Benson.
"El, why?" She asks me, she looks up at me with her big brown eyes.
"I..it doesn't matter" I lie.
"El! It does! Tell me" she demands.
I step down off of the ledge and move out of her arms.
I go to walk away but she grabs my arm and pulls me back into a hug. I don't resist. I let her arms hold me in a hug, a hug like we have never had before. She usually puts her hands just under my shoulders, but this hug, her hands were around my neck with her head on my chest. This was a different type of hug.
"El. Please say something" she says looking up at me again. Her eyes locked on mine, the feeling is enough to make anyone's heart melt.
"Why?" She asks
"Why what?" I ask. Big mistake.
"Elliot Stabler! Don't you dare play games with me. You know what I am talking about! Please just tell me what is going on with you!" She yells pulling away from out hug.
"I..I wasn't.." I lie again. I hate lying to her, but I could never tell her the truth.
"El, please don't lie to me" she says softer. "Why?"
"B..because. I can't do this anymore" I say.
She gives me a confused look.
"Do what?" She asks
"I can't keep pretending that I don't have feelings for you. I can't keep pretending, that I don't love you" I say.
She looks stunned. She doesn't react at first. She just looks at me. She walks closer to me. I feel her breath on my lips.
I stare into her eyes again. I love how the shade of brown changes, they are a milk chocolate colour. Compared to her dark chocolate colour, when she is mad.
I am brought out of my thoughts by the strong taste of coffee that still lingered on her lips. Her warm lips were pressed against my own.
I begin to feel her arms as they wrap around my neck. I take the opportunity to wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in closer.
I have wanted this feeling for so long. Except it was a lot better than what I expected, than what I had pictures, than what I had fantasised over for years. Her soft lips locked with mine. The feeling is so perfect. Like they were two pieces of of a jigsaw that were lost, and now are found, and put back together.
This feeling lasts for what seems forever. This perfect moment, I will remember forever.