YOU CAN DO WHAT THAT PERSON ASKS YOU TO DO ALL FUCKING DAY AND IT NEVER MAKES THEM HAPPY!
SMH NO, NOTHING YOU DO WILL EVER MAKE THEM HAPPY WHY YOU MIGHT ASK? BECAUSE THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU AND ALSO WITH THEMSELVES.
I'M DONE WITH THE BACKSTABBING, AND TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK, THE LIES, THE "I'M ALWAYS RIGHT AND YOUR WRONG" SCENARIO, THE ACCUSATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS.
AND EVEN THOUGH THIS IS ABOUT 3 PEOPLE AND I COULD TELL YOU ALL THIS UNTIL I TURN PURPLE IN THE FACE AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS "KISS MY MOTHERFUCKING ASS!"....MY VOICE WILL NEVER BE HEARD, BECAUSE YA'LL ARE STILL GONNA DO AND SAY WHAT YA'LL WANT SO MY VOICE, REALLY HAS NO VOICE.
AND I'M SORRY UNC. FOR MY CURSING BUT I HAD TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL BECAUSE EVERYBODY WANTS TO PUT ME DOWN, AND POINT OUT THE ERROR OF MY WAYS AND ALWAYS SAYING THAT I AIN'T SHIT, BUT THEN TURN AROUND AND ASK ME FOR HELP OR EVEN ADVICE SO WHEN?...WHEN DOES IT QUIT??
I AM NOT ANYBODY'S CARPET TO WIPE THERE FEET OFF ON, AND EVEN THOUGH I AM VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD AND BLUNT, OVER TIME I HAVE LEARNED TO KEEP SOME THINGS TO MYSELF BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T ALWAYS NICE.
ESPECIALLY LIKE NOW, BUT I REFUSE TO LET PEOPLE TURN ME COLD EVEN THOUGH IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING, AND I WANNA REACH THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, YET IT'S SO CLOSE BUT STILL TO FAR FROM ME, BUT I HOLD ONTO THIS THING CALLED HOPE THAT I WILL MAKE IT!
AND EVENTHOUGH MY FAMILY IS FUCKED UP AND HAVE TURNED THERE BACK ON ME, I HAVE LEARNED A LOT FROM THEM HOW TO HATE, LOVE, SURVIVE, BE EMOTIONALLY CONFUSED AND SELFISH. AND THOUGH I TRY TO BE THE PEACE KEEPER NOW-A-DAYS I SAY TO HELL WITH IT.
SEE WHEN I'M HERE I GET TAKEN FOR GRANTED YET STRANGELY...WHEN I UP AND DISAPPEAR, THEY ALL GET CONCERNED...BLOWING MY PHONE UP, SENDING ME TEXT MESSAGES, EMAILS ON FACEBOOK, HECK EVEN PEOPLE I AIN'T HEARD FROM IN YEARSS CALL MY LINE! YET ANY OTHER TIME I GET DISSED AND DISMISSED, AND PEOPLE ALWAYS THINKING THAT THEY KNOW WHAT I'M DOING BUT DON'T KNOW SHIT.
SO I SIT BACK AND WATCH AS THEY TRY TO WRITE, READ AND ACT MY SCRIPT, YET SEE I SPEAK MY OWN LANGUAGE CAUSE I HAVE MY OWN WAY OF DOING THINGS. REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE THEY DON'T WALK IN MY SHOES I DO, THEY DON'T HAVE A CHILD TO RAISE I DO, THEY DON'T CARRY MY EVERYDAY BURDENS BECAUSE OF COURSE I DO!
DON'T WANNA BE NO, PAUSE...DON'T NEED TO BE A STATISTIC OF ANOTHER BLACK FEMALE ANGRY, BITTER FOR NO APPARENT REASON. AND PEOPLE ALWAYS WHISPER, "what happened to the sweet girl?" AND IN MY OWN REPLY I SAY "she's still here, but I pick and choose who instead of willingly and blindly being nice to everyone." BECAUSE THE WORLD ISN'T NICE SO WHY SHOULD I RIGHT? CERTAIN PEOPLE HAVE A WAY OF PRESSING YOUR BUTTONS AND GETTING UNDER YOUR SKIN, AND MAKING YOU WANT TO SAY FUCK IT.
YET JUST LIKE A FOOL YOU STILL HOLD ON, AND WEAR A FAKE SMILE UPON YOUR FACE TO HIDE THE PAIN...THAT ANGUISH AND FRUSTRATION YOU REFUSE TO LET IT SHOW BUT SOME TIMES YOU STILL WANNA CURSE THAT CHICK OUT EVERY TIME SHE LOOKS, WALKS OR EVEN CALLS YOUR NAME...MY ANGER IS WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL YET ON A BLANK PAGE.
SO MY HEART BLEEDS AND CRIES OUT FOR A SAVIOR, AND EVEN THOUGH I AM SPIRITUAL SO I DO HAVE 1, BUT I'M CARNAL SO OF COURSE I STAY LYING DOWN LONGER. IT'S LIKE A LETHAL WEAPON IT'LL PUT YOUR BODY IN CHAINS, CAUSE MY VOICE NEVER SQUEAKS IT ROARS, SO OF COURSE I CARRY MY OWN WEIGHT BUT I LOVE TO BE IN CHARGE, DANCING IN AN UNKNOWN DANCE WITH ONLY FIRE AND ICE, AND THE ONLY THINGS THAT CAN CALM ME DOWN IS MY LOVE FOR LOVE AND LIFE...
