Christmas Take Two

Dildos and Dog Piss

Christmas Round Two

Everyone was somewhat cheerful. If anything a bit tense because of the new face among the group. Alistair sat away from the rest of the family of Skywalkers.

"As you can see I coloured code each presented in each person's pile. Aunt Leia's is closest to the tree because she's the matriarch of the family, the Queen, the boss, the principle, we are but sub-servants to her." Rey said. "Uncle Han's is next. Then my dad's, then it's Amethyst, then it's Kylo, then it's me. because i'm the youngest. The twins is with Amethyst and Kylo's however. Okay may we all open our presents peacefully."

"If I open up mine from you..." Han began to Rey. "Will it be the leftover painkillers you had from last year?"

"Did you want the leftover painkillers from last year?"

"You just questioned him to answer him, my heart is burning in a good way." Alistair said, touching Rey's arm. "You'll be surpassing me soon."

"What do you mean soon? Bitch please! You only manage to win an award for your own mistakes because I pointed them out."

"Inadequacy is something I shall not feel."

"How about a punch to the face. Would you like to feel a punch to the face?" Luke asked him.

"Well as someone who's been punched in the face a lot I can successfully put myself into a position to answer no. Although Rey threw me on my back once, I kind of enjoyed it." Luke rolled his eyes and opened his present from Rey.

Rey got Luke a bullet proof vest, a fancy electric razor to make him get rid of the beard which he was trying to grow again after a charity event he shaved it for, a fancy coat and a new chair for his class that was really comfy.

In return Luke bought her new hair pins and a 3DS and a Nintendo game store gift card because he was unsure of what game she would enjoy. "Thanks dad."

"Is this a jumpsuit?" Kylo held up a onesie. "With cat ears?"

"That's because he looks like a cat. Like Jacob said." Rey stated.

"And I have a matching one." Amethyst smiled. "So do the twins. Well not exact, but they're all cats"

"Oh look Han wrapped up Chewey's presents and put my name tag on the paper instead of Chewey's." Leia uttered.

"It's an easy mistake to make." Han said.

"Who got me a dildo!?" asked Kylo suddenly.

The over forties in the room's eyes widened. Alistair choked on his wine, but started laughing when he recovered from his coughing fit.

"I don't know but I'm sure whoever got you it...' Rey began. "Must have thought you'd prefer that to the one you already had up your ass."

Amethyst burst out laughing. "It's so big. Where did you even find this" She grabbed it and wiggled it around. "It's so floppy"

"I have my ways" Rey smiled.

Kylos eyes narrowed. He took it back from Amethyst hands, and then threw it at Reys face. Rey frowned and stood up. Kylo quickly got up and sprinted out of the room.

"You ass! This is why you needed that" Rey was yelling trying to get him. Kylo quickly made it outside and stood in the middle of the garden in snow.

"Catch me now!" He yelled. Rey took the slippers from Amethyst's feet and chased after him once more. "Oh shit" he said jogging away.

Rey caught up to him and pushed him. "I can lift 180!"

"Rey I'm sorry for forcing you to have a experience you weren't ready for! Please!"He was laughing while she pinned him down.

"You're being buried in this snow pal!" Rey fumed. She started to pile snow on him.

"Rey!" Amethyst shouted from the doorway. "If you kill my husband you need to find me a new one."

"I'll find you a better one"

"Can you make him look like Tom Cruise? Or Tom Hiddleston. No tom hardy."

"What's with you and Tom's" Kylo asked while being buried alive.

"How am I supposed to know!?" She replied

"I know a guy that looks like Lee Pace?" Rey said. "Or I can someone plastic surgery since I'm a millionaire."

"Lee pace is good." Amethyst shouted to them before going inside.

"I'm sorry Rey. You weren't ready to have a dildo thrown in your face"

"Have you ever been ready?"

"College was weird"

"What?!" Rey asked laughing. She stood up and started to make her way back inside.

"You're just going to leave me here?" He struggled under the blanket of snow.

"Yes. Come on you're an adult. You can uncover yourself." With that Rey went back inside.

"Screw you Rey!" He yelled, freeing a hand.

"Love you too" with that she closed the back door.

He tried to move but the snow was heavy. He was starting to freeze his butt off. "Rey! Rey! Help me! Amethyst! AMethyst!

Suddenly Chewey came out of nowhere and was sniffing. "Chewey!" Kylo whispered. "I know you hate me but..."

Yes Chewey hated him because he was peeing on the snow Kylo was buried in.

"Fuck you too" he mumbled. When Chewey was done he went back indoors.

Suddenly Han came out and shovelled away the snow. "You spell of piss now so you know." Han told him.

"Thanks...dad!"

"You're welcome...son!" Kylo reached out a hand and Han helped him up. He went inside, up to his room where he showered and changed. Avoiding everyone except Amethyst for the rest of the evening until dinner.