Vixen (A Brooklyn Love Affair)

Whore

"Vixen, hold still," Mama scolded, yanking my face upward for the fifth time. "I don't want your makeup to smudge."

I popped one eye open, watching her mix the rich pigments onto her eye shadow brush. Swirls of purple and gold tickled my eyelids, causing me to giggle in delight. Mama sucked her teeth and continued to paint my eyelids, muttering under her breath the entire time. A Whitney Houston song played in the background, bringing life into the drab motel room we lived in. With my eyes closed walls covered in peeling yellow wallpaper didn't surround me. As I sung along with Whitney the well-worn beds and dirty carpet became a faraway thought. Another soft laugh escaped causing Mama to sigh.

"Little girl, you'd better stay still," she warned. "I want you looking perfect for Charles. You don't like living here, right?"

I shook my head back and forth. "No."

"Then hold still so I can fix your lipstick."

Mama added another coat of red lipstick to my lips and announced that she was going to take a shower before Charles arrived. Mama never mentioned exactly who Charles was; she only made it clear he was the key to a better life. My instructions for the night were to be good and follow directions. I straightened the loose fitting dress Mama dressed me in, my hands running over the silky material. It hung awkwardly on my twelve-year-old frame, sagging in places it would certainly fill on a grown woman. My curly black hair was straightened for the occasion, hanging down my back and reminding me of the eighth grade girls I admired in school. I stared at myself in the mirror until Mama broke my concentration, her hand waving in my face.

"Vixen, look at me. And don't roll your eyes at me like that," Mama said, holding me by both of my cheeks. "Honey, I want you to know that no matter what happens tonight you're special and you mean the world to me."

"Mama," I said slowly, my eyes welling up with tears. "Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

She laughed, her mahogany face showing signs of wear after years of a hard life. Her once shiny mane of long ebony hair was now brittle and hidden under the cheap blonde wig she wore. Her grey eyes-the same ones we had in common-were now dull from years of drug use. Life had worn my mother down and I hoped it didn't do the same to me. There was a knock on the door and Mama lit up with glee.

"Baby, that must be Charles. Go get the door while I finish my makeup," she said, jumping up and shutting herself into the bathroom before I could protest.

I arrived at the door, my body trembling as three strong knocks shook it.

"VIXEN!" Mama's voice boomed, bringing me back to my harsh reality. "THE DOOR!"

I pulled the door open and there he was, dark in an expensive black suit, his black eyes boring into mine as a greedy smile crept across his face. My stomach started to turn, burning as I got a better look at the imposing figure standing before me. Sure he looked nice, with his single red rose lazily in between his caramel colored fingers, yet a cold chill rooted me to the spot as he stepped closer, looming over me, the scent of the rose cloying my nose.

"Hello, Vixen," he said in a deep rumbling voice.

I suppressed a scream as he touched my face, caressing it slowly.

"No," I said in a strangled whisper. In a louder voice I shouted, "NO. NO. NO-"

His hands wrapped around my shoulder and he shook me fiercely. "Vixen, what's wrong?"

"LET GO!" I roared, tears rolling down my cheeks. I thrashed wildly until his arms disappeared and I hit the floor with a thud.

Instead of the floor reeking of urine, it smelled of Pine Sol. I sat up and let out a sigh of frustration as I surveyed my dark bedroom. I rolled my eyes when the lights came on. Using my silk bed sham, I managed to lift myself up onto the king sized bed I shared with my fiancé. Turning slightly, I found Trey staring at me, his full lips managing to form a thin line.