Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Yes you know I'll die for you
And ya know I'll ride with you
I will always try with you
And give ya my love and cry with you  

Onika closed the doors to her apartment behind her and gazed down at the shimmering watch that was on her wrist.

6:37 pm.

But outside it was still sunny and warm. Early summer.

"Babe" she called "I'm sorry I'm late"

She checked herself in the mirror in the foyer. Her long, black hair were ideally straight. Great. She smoothed down her olive green dress. Fantastic.

"Aubrey?"

She found him in the bedroom, putting his clothes into the bag. He was in black sweats but no shirt.

Oh, he looked so good. Deliciously, scandalously good.

Before anything else could be done Onika approached him and pressed her pink lips against his. Aubrey didn't kiss her back. At last not like she wanted him to. He didn't pull away though, he just stood there. What's wrong, what's wrong, Babe?

 She brushed that away.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked, raising an eyebrow. Her voice still cheerful.

He threw a few t-shirts into a bag. White, black and blue.

"She wants me back"

No. Onika tensed, her lips tightened. That was bullshit.

The same bullshit. All over again.

She inhaled deeply because instantly she wanted to scream out loud.

"She doesn't want you Aubrey" she said quietly "Robyn will only use you"

He looked at her unwillingly. He didn't care. But she did. And therein laid the problem.

"She already fucking used you" she raised her voice "When that guy left she came running to you, when he came back, she left you"

Aubrey grimaced and rolled his dark eyes. He was determined and she wasn't able to stop him.

"They were never really together" he said firmly, then added slowly and even more forcefully "Just like we" He could be so cruel when he wanted to.

Onika remembered when he had a crush on her in high school. She liked him too and they spend quite a few steamy nights together.

But high school was over and Aubrey really fell in love and not with her. Obviously.

What else did she expect though?

"Aubrey... She fucked him!" Her chest was heaving, her hands shook "How could you let her get away with this?" Seeing that someone did this to him made her angry.

Her cheeks were red and blotchy as she watched him, waiting impatiently for him to say something. His silence pissed her off, she wanted answers.

"I don't need to tell you shit" he replied with a small smirk on his face.

She felt her heart clench fiercely and she took another deep breath.

He wanted Robyn, so much that it drove him mad. She knew that and she wanted him to be happy. But this situation, that Aubrey called relationship, was so damn unhealthy. So toxic. So wrong.

"Robyn doesn't love you" she said loudly as he shook his head "She hurt you Aubrey! She always hurts you!"

But he had this soft side for Robyn, a place in his heart where she controlled his undying love for her.

This wasn't fucking right. It never was.

Resigned, Onika looked around the room. The rumpled white sheets on the bed caught her attention. She was sure it didn't look like that when she was leaving this morning.

"What the fuck did--"

Oh--

She paused and slowly turned to him, suddenly horrified by the sight of his incomplete outfit "Wait... She was here. Wasn't she?" she send him a stare as reaslisation after realisation hit her.

God.

He didn't say no, he didn't say yes. Shit.

She hesitated before speaking again "Tell me you didn't fuck her... Here"

Tell No. Tell No. Lie. Lie. Tell Nonononono.

No words.

But the answer was already written all over his gorgeous face.

"Oh god, I knew it" she choked out, blinking rapidly because her mascara wasn't tear proof.

Aubrey parted his lips, let out a breath.

"Onika I'm--" he said avoiding eye contact.

"Save it" she spat.

She didn't want--No, she didn't need his pitiful, insincere apology. Nor did she want him to try to admit that he fucked Robyn by accident. In the same bed that he was sharing with her for the last two months.

Fuck, No.

She felt sick. She wanted to blame only her. But Aubrey was no innocent.

He and that--Wicked, twisted bitch. Both. They had no shame.

She swallowed "Just get out of here Aubrey. Just get the fuck out of here."

Then she turned her back to him, folded her arms over her breasts and waited until the sound of his footsteps disappeared.

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Fuck them, she thought viciously.

2:31 am.  

The clock on the nightstand flashed it numbers in angry red. Onika couldn't sleep. She looked at the window, there were no stars out tonight.

She knew they had sex in this bed. There were--

--Gasps... shared kisses... His hands, he had beautiful hands--Skilled hands--Her bed. And Robyn on her bed, squirming under his body... All hot and close. The sheets were fresh, but still burned like poison ivy.

It was very real and it really hurt.

She should be used to it by now.

Why could he not stop thinking about Robyn, even when he was with her?

Why? Onika licked her lips, they felt dry. She knew pretty well why. She regretted almost everything that had happened in the past two months.

She hated what Aubrey did to her. Hated the way he made her feel when he touched her or when he just looked at her. And his face. And his deep brown eyes. And his voice. She hated his irresistible, velvety voice and his fucking lies.

But mostly she hated the fact that she knew he would walk away.

Not because they would argue and would decide to go separate ways. And not because they would want to take a break. She knew he would walk away because he already loved somebody else. He really loved somebody. He loved t r u l y.

Madly. Very deeply. So naively. Unconditionally.

And he didn't love her.

She rolled over.

But she didn't want to think about it now.

I will climb a mountain high
Until I was up to touch the sky
So baby come and get more close to me
This is where your love is supposed to be