Love Hates Me (BoyXBoy)

Defiance is Key

 Chapter 8: When conducting a lie make sure to know about defiance.

(James Pov)

I was still. Silent. I knew Carrie and Simon were upstairs doing... something. But me and Eli, we were in the kitchen. Eli playing 20 questions with me...

“What's your favorite color?” Oh, I really hoped this torture would end soon.

“Green.” I said monotonously.

It has been going on for a half hour.

“Favorite band?”

“Rise against.”

“Favorite animal?”

"Wolf.”

“Favorite movie?”

“Goodfellas.”

There was a long silence before the next question.

“Your mom?...”

I tensed up.

“My mother lives in the cuckoo house. I live alone. My aunt occasionally visits.”

“...”

I looked at him. “What no more questions?” I flinched inwardly at how sarcastic my voice was. His eyes were downcast and when he looked up at me, my heart stopped.

Eli's eyes were a startling green, just really stupidly green. A vast portal to his almost too caring soul. I reached over the table, my hand sweeping away strands of his hair. I couldn't help but want to touch him, feel him more. He stirred something in me. Something that should've been dead long ago.

I have never felt the urge to kiss someone as much as I had right there. But then his eyes...

“What's wrong?”

Eli's eyes seemed to water. I wanted to touch him again.

I quickly got up, cross the short distance between us. I stood in front of him and in one swift movement, swept him off his feet. The green pools widened and he started sputtering.

“Whoa! Wha-Wha-What are you doing?!” I smiled. I was holding him bridal style. He was as red as a tomato. Whether it was from anger or simply embarrassment.

Eli's cute when he blushes.

“I am perfectly capable of walking!” He was shouting.

“Shh.. I know.”

“Shhhh! What do you mean shh!?” I shook my head at his antics.

“I mean you are being extremely loud and obnoxious-”

“Pot calling the kettle black...”

“Hmm..Now where is your room?”

Eli swiveled his head to look at me, only succeeding in bumping our heads together. Great now I have a headache. I didn't want to drop my angel so I went toward the living room and set him on the couch.

“Ow Ow Ow Ow” He was rubbing his forehead. I just smiled at him. He looked so cute when he was flustered.

“I don't have a room you dumbass.” The insult was uncalled for.

“Well where do you sleep normally?”

"On the couch.” I nodded sitting down next to him. He had a huge red mark on his forehead. “Does it hurt?” I said quietly.

“No.” He said, his face still pouting. God, he looked like a frustrated kitten.

“What is wrong?” His eyes looked into mine. Soft and incandescent with unshed tears. Eli spoke before I could lean in and kiss him.

“It's just so sad...” He trailed off his eyes averting from mine. “Your family, um... Your mom and dad not being there.”

I frowned. “Quit being an idiot.” Eli scoffed. “James, you are the idiot.” Trust this prick to only see what he wants to see.

“Right now you're the idiot. Seriously, your home life is a helluva lot worse than mine. If anything , you shouldn't feel sorry for me.” Quit having double standards

Eli looked at me again. This time his hair was in his eyes. “It's just even though you're an idiot, you're a nice guy. I guess you deserve more-”

“What and you don't?”

“Well I don't kno-”

“Dammit Eli! Stop blaming yourself for stuff your father did! You didn't deserve any of it." He seemed taken a back from my out burst. His green eyes so wide, so god damn green, it made my chest ache.

How could someone be so fucking beautiful.

Before he could utter another word, I leaned in and kissed him.

For one split moment, I was in heaven. My heart stopped and I was floating. His lips were soft like I predicted. I coaxed him into the kiss. His own lips doing a twisted dance against mine. He kissed me back slowly. I wondered somewhere back in my mind if Eli was a virgin.

I felt something shake against me...

...He doesn't want this...

I pulled back. My body screamed no. But my heart said yes. From the way his body trembled I knew me pushing to kiss him would not be a wise choice. I couldn't stand the tears in his eyes. I stood to walk away, better to remove myself from this situation.

Better to be disappointed then to cause Eli hurt.

If I was the reason he cried, I knew I would never forgive myself.

I felt a warm slightly shaking hand link into mine. Before I knew it I was tugged just right so my lips descended on Eli's.

XXXXXXx

(Eli's Pov)

He was kissing me. James kindred, ex-gang member, lady killer, talk of the town, James, was kissing me. A Draxton, condemned to spend his life as a closet gay, was being kissed by a man.

How scandalous.

I knew he would regret this. James didn't need another thing for people to talk about. This town would shun both of us. I couldn't do it.

But somehow my body had already decided I was doing this. I was kissing back. Except for the occasional stolen pecks from secret admirers. This was the first time someone had kissed me for me. Although I didn't know his full intentions I knew James would protect me.

Somewhere deep in my subconcious, I knew it.

I pulled myself back into reality. I could feel my whole body trembling. My heart was going to jump out my chest. I was sure of it. I felt traitorous tears in my eyes. I was scared. My body trembled, my eyes brimmed with tears, because I feared of loving others.

James removed his lips from mine. I looked up at him as he stood. I felt my entire body, my heart, shout no. My hand shot out to grip his. I held on tightly as if my life depended on it. Seeing him turn his back on me... was unbearable.

I tugged, pulling him down on top of me, quickly capturing his delicious lips...

Oh Fuck...

An: Holy crapdizzle I am soooo sorry! There really isn't a excuse of why I haven't updated...

I really have been worrying about school and all this stuff but that really isn't an excuse! Umm I probably shouldn't even ask for comments or anything....I'm infinitely sorry.

...This chapter is short and you guys deserve more... I am so horrible.

Happier note: I'm on chapter 11 so there will most likely be a faster update. But rate if you want even though I'm terrible at online writing...