Kiss Me Deadly Peter Pan

Chapter 16: Unwanted Feelings

Opening my eyes, I stretch and sit up on the King sized bed and stare at the fruit bowl on the table in front. How long have I slept for? I peak outside the window and the moon is out and it's dark?! What? Wow...my stomach rumbles but I shake it off. That dream...it wasn't a dream, it was a flash back and I must admit I had forgotten all about that...my 6th birthday. After my mother died, most memories of her faded, who knows why, I guess that's what happens when You...become depressed, you only focus on the negative. But I'm not depressed anymore, Iv learnt to deal with everything. Dad was strange that day, of course I didn't know why. I didn't know why the Charles family were there and of course I was too young to under stand what betrothed meant and why he gave me that ring...the ring. I still have it you know, locked in my draw. I don't know I guess it's just something special to remember William. I know I definitely didn't want to marry him but even if I did, I couldn't because his family moved away to America shortly after my 7th birthday. William and I became friends and I admit I was sad when he left. Iv never seen him older and as an 18 year old. Even on my 7th, I still didn't know what marriage meant. When I found out what betrothed meant, I was not really happy to find out the family tradition was arranged marriages and so I began to wonder is that how my mum and dad got together or the only reason why they stayed together was because of me? Of course a 6 year old child wouldn't be dumb enough to not know their parents are drifting apart. Mum lived the life of dreams and imagination and dad lived the life of reality. So why did she marry him then?? If they were so different then why where they together?? It didn't catch up to me until just recently at the age of 16. I realised that my mum married my father not because she had to but because she fell in love with him despite his faults, she looked past that and saw a kind man who would do anything to keep his family safe and happy, she knew that he meant well and I know that too. Despite their fights, they had happy moments too, like that one time I got home from Anna and Stevens and saw them dancing in the moon light like young lovers. The look in their eyes represented love and I think that's why my dad became so depressed when she died, because he blamed himself, because he felt guilty and wanted to say sorry for the way he treated her sometimes, for the way he treated me, he wanted to tell her that he truly loved her for who she was. And I know that, trust me I know.

Suddenly I see Pan in the corner of my eye and I turn my head to find him sitting upright on the bed looking at me with his usual look like he's studying me. What? What does he find so amusing about my damn face?! Errrrrrggg. What's he even doing in here? I look away from him and stand up.

"Well you sure are a heavy sleeper, the moons out you know" he lays his back against the mattress and his hair moves to the side. He puts his hands behind his head and sighs. I stay silent and cross my arms pretending to be annoyed...well I'm not exactly pretending.

"I didn't notice how comfy this bed was! I should have kept if for myself" he laughs and turns his head to look at me, his shiny dark green eyes sparkling, the corner of his mouth perks up. His eyes glaring into mine. His body across my bed like that...His brown hair laid across the bed sheet and every detail of his muscles on his arms tensed up and strong near his face and his deep sexy voice...oh.....I feel butterflies swirling and my heart beat picks up speed as Curious and slightly bad thoughts drift into my mind.....oh...NO!... Oh my god what is wrong with me? No! No! Did I just call his voice sexy??!! NO RACHEL! I suddenly shake my head and cross my arms. Hopefully he didn't notice anything. He then looks at me puzzled and confused.

"What was that look about?" He asks.

"Huh? What look? I don't know what your talking about" I say pretending nothing happened. He raises his eye brows. Ugh I hate it when he does that!

"Anyway why are you even in here?" I yell at him on the bed and look down at him. He winks and sits up.

"Because we are going to go see the mermaids remember?"