Our Suicide Note

So I did myself a favor. I did this earth a favor. 

 So I grabbed the gun, rope, the alcohol...

As I felt the burning sensation come through me with the alcohol, I thought to myself. Why did they call me names? Why did they want to hurt me? Why do they continue to bully me... Why doesn't my mom care about me? Why was my dad never there? That's when it hit me. I was nothing to this world. Not even one percent of this world would care, nor notice. But carry on with their lives, with a happy face until they have experienced it themselves. As I took my final breath I looked at my mirror and smiled. Everyone is better now, and drank my last drink. 

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As I pulled the gun to my head I began to think. Is it worth it anymore? Then flashes, memories come to me. I had a happy childhood... Not the best, but I ended up happy at the end of the day. My mom gave me soft, gentle, sweet kisses. My father would always give me a nice lecture about school, girls or boy's. But then came school year. I was made fun of for what I wore, how I spoke, my race, and of course my love interest. Everything was a big deal.... That's why I was here. That's why I have the gun to my head with my finger on the trigger. My mom will be happy, my dad will never notice... It will all be as if nothing happened. So I pulled it.

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I grabbed the rope and put it on the highest thing I could find in the house. I grabbed a chair, and put the rope around my neck. Prayed to god with my last moments, hoping he'll forgive me. I never had anyone there for me. Not one person. My parents ignored me, my friends slowly turned on me... They first loved me and now they hate me... What the hell did I do? That's all I asked! Why did they turn on me like I was nothing! It's bad enough my father and mother wished I was never born, but my friends were the only things I had left. I feel like there is nothing left for me... Not at all. Even my best friend Tiffany seemed to quit on me. She called me an Emo Slut in front of her boyfriend.... Why? I wiped the tear from my face. I know what I have to do... What I need to do... So I moved off the chair... only saying. "You were right"

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You are all wrong. Every single one of you. 

You think that no one will care, not one person will notice, but have you noticed? These three stories have something in common. These three stories talk about insecurities, fear, and most of all, being pushed away. You know what?  Once you're gone, then that's it. Game over, no replays, no do overs. That's just it. 

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You know what people will say? Will do once you are gone? I can tell you. 

Your parents or siblings will be the first ones to find you. Your mom will run into another room, crying her eye's out. She'll regret the last fight she was in with you. She'll regret that she didn't stop and say I love you, and give you a kiss on your forehead. All she knows is that her son and or daughter is gone and they'll never forgive him or her. Your siblings will be begging you to wake up, holding on to you, and pulling on your father who is so scared to ever look at you, begging him to help. Soon they call the ambulance and your father drags your siblings out and go into a different room to think where he went wrong. Why did this happen to us? 

Later on they are forced to go the hospital, in the morgue. The doctor has to bring them in, and show them your pale face. It has no emotion, no movement. That's when he has to break the news to your parent's, in front of your siblings. You're mom hide's in your father's neck, crying NOT MY BABY! Your father will be hugging her, trying to calm her down. But inside he's shattered. Then they have to go home. Your sibling moves from the spot you usually sit in. Your mother looks out the window, in a terrible gaze.

Your father drives them home and go into the kitchen. He began to drink. He never drink's. But even if he did, he drinks more than usual. He cries as your mother packs everything. Soon enough they fight. It gets bad. Your sibling watches in horror, not having a person to pull them away. But they blame each other...

Years pass and things never seemed so bad. The last person who bullied you wanted to kill themselves. Your school has all dragged themselves down since you died years ago. Your old friends that left you behind always talked about you, regretting what they said. That girl that made fun of you because you were different starved herself every day and only envied you. Then there was your siblings. 

They grew up to live a crappy, miserable life. Your father lost his job so you're mom had to find one. They grew apart from your mom and dad. Never played with them, never told them how their day was. Only communicated at dinner to get food. They got bullied, and they cut. Your father beat them, your mother just ignored it. Your sibling never imagined this happening, but only missed you so much more. They went to your grave every day and talked to you. But they noticed something was different... Nothing was right anymore. So they followed after you. They figured Dad can't hurt me anymore, and those bullies will never hurt me again. So they grab the gun, rope, or the alcohol and just did it. 

They kill themselves and again your parents are devastate. They lost their other baby boy and or girl. It was just them now... So they go back home, and go to your room for the first time in years. There was still tape from the crime scene. Your mother picks up you're gun, rope, or bottle and glares at it. Wishing she could have been there to stop you, but it was too late to take anything back. You're father carefully takes it from you're mother and tear's up... He placed it back in its spot and walks out the room, with your mother following behind him. But your mother stops and looks behind her. She began to think of when you were a child. But closed the door, looking down... That night your father takes his life. Then the next day your mother. 

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You never realized how everything could have been until it was too late... Then after that, nothing will get better. But you are already too late to notice... You already did it and now. There will be consequences. So think before you do it. Think about your family, your friends, and your husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend... Think about them.