JOURNEY

The not so fun in between

So recently there's been a lot going on but hey that's life a million things going on every second of every day but you don't realize it all the time so anywhoodle I have recently moved and I've made a bunch of new friends I met back up with some old ones and got to see some for the first time but some of them are complete
Assholes if I'm honest I mean really but who isn't these days it's just become a way of life but there are those few people who arnt assholes and my god are they fantastic I'm currently snowed I. Right now but hey no school so I'm all good with it buttttt means I have work to do and I'm not looking forward to it I'll
Get to it eventually i don't know when but I will so first things first I hope all of your days are good and all that and I hope you have a fantastic day make the best or of your day today or night or afternoon whenever you're reading this or wherever 😏😉
Sooo recently
I moved schools and o met this guy he's sweet and kind but I'm cassually a lesbian and he really likes me and stuff and we're friends and I recently started talking to this girl and he got super jealous it was kind of cute lol but anyways his girlfriend likes me as a person and I might join band again I don't know still debating it but I've made tons of new friends caught up with some old ones and generally
Having a better high school experience at the school I'm at it's nice simple and sweet ^_^
But the one thing is that recently I've relapsed and very bad thing from my past came back at me all in one go and I broke and I'm starting to feel lost like
I don't belong like I'm slowly drifting away from sanity I cry more than I should lately I feel worthless and forgotten I feel unwanted and like I shouldn't be here but even so I stay even if I don't want to and it's so hard not to Just GIVE UP. Cause everytime my wall is rebuilt fully something
Begins to push and crack it then eventually break it and with.it I break too and I was doing good hints was its like I'm just not worth it anymore like I'm not worth fighting for...
But there's always one person who's willing to fight for me he's there for me he doesn't want to give up on me he wants to fix me even though I'm broken beyond repair he wants to fix me he wants me to be strong and he wants me to stay he doesn't want me to give up he wants me to keep fighting and for some reason his words give me strength like no other ever had I guess because I feel like he really means what he says and it helps...
I'm the ugly sister
I'm the horrible daughter
I'm not even the second choice
I'm the "leftover"
I'm not the clever one
I'm not the skinny one
I'm the talentless one
I'm the "why are you even here?"

Sometimes I feel like nobody likes me nobody wants me nobody needs me and nobody cares

I just need someone to hug me and tell
I'm not as worthless as I think I am

  This is the year I will be stronger kinder braver and unstoppable this year I will
Be FEIRCE