Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

Blue Part Six

A/N- wedontbelieveinyou  wanted an alternate ending and who am I to say no?

To say he's lonely is putting it lightly, he feels like he's drowning in loneliness. After having someone being in your life for so many years; seeing him everyday, talking him until late at night, going on midnight food runs because one of them randomly craves something, after that constant companionship is gone, it's extremely difficult to move on.

A year.

It's been one year since Nash has had any contact with Cameron. The last time he saw him was him walking out of the door of the cafe after saying goodbye for what seemed like forever.

The second worse day of Nash's life.

The first was when Cameron broke up with him.

Anastasia.

It's a name Nash never wants to hear again.

The girl at the heart of the matter. Nash knows she has no idea how drastically her short presence changed his life forever.

He lost the love of his life. He lost the one person who supported 100%, the one who stayed with him despite his shortcomings and fear. His best friend, the person he could never imagine being without and somehow he is.

He has no idea how Cameron is or what he's doing, his parents still question Nash on why their friendship of so many years died so abruptly. Nash has never been able to be completely honest with his parents about the true nature of his relationship with Cameron. He's lost Cameron, he doesn't want to lose his family as well.

He wonders how Cameron is, if he's okay, if he's alone. He knows his family was all Cameron had in the world, it hurts him to the core that his actions cause Cameron to lose the closest people to him.

His thoughts shift to the new university he's attending, he's transferred and wants to begin fresh. Everywhere he went at his old university reminded him of Cameron, he needed a change of scenery and decided transferring and living at the dorm would provide peace for him.

But he knows in the deepest part of his heart that nothing will ever make the ache he feels for Cameron go away.

He's all moved into his dorm, he made sure to get a private room so he didn't have to deal with a roommate and he's already said his teary goodbyes with his parents, and now he's alone and his thoughts threaten to consume him.

The pain for Cameron has never gotten better and at times is overwhelming.

Cameron changed his number, Nash realizes he was the sole reason because he never stopped calling or texting him.

It hurts him deeply how easy it seems Cameron was able to cut him from his life and he often wonders if it hurts Cameron still.

Maybe not.

Maybe he's happy with someone else, someone who doesn't have the same baggage as he does. Someone who is completely honest with him and would fight for him against anyone the way Nash should have done.

He wishes life had a rewind button so that he could do everything over and make different choices.

Losing Cameron has broken him in a way that Nash doubts will ever be repaired.

No one can ever take his place.

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He walks on campus towards his first class, it's his junior year in university and luckily the new program he's entered has taken all of his credits so that he won't have to take any additional classes. He's still on track to graduate and even thoughts of Cameron enter his mind whenever he thinks about graduation.