As I break inside

Do you ever feel alone?
Alone, even if there are several people around you.
Alone, suddenly and without a choice.

I do feel alone, all the time.
Of course, I do have friends, I know that myself!
But where are they when I really need them?

As I break inside
Screaming and crying, shaking and begging for release, noone is there.

As I break inside
Picking up the blade and driving it through my skin, noone is there.

As I break inside
Hitting the wall several times because Im feeling so numb, noone is there.

All those, who call themselves my friends, where are you when I really need you?
When I call you and ask you if you could come over, where are you?

I once send a really good friend of mine a message.
A short single message with a lot of meaning because I didn't have the energy anymore to tipe more.

Help

I sent him this one word.
He knows that I end up breaking on the inside every now and then.
He knows that depression hits me hard sometimes.
And I sent him this one word.

He answered.

What's wrong?

Once again I've put all my energy together as I grab my phone and type a message again.

I need your help.

He lives about 5 minutes away from me and he was at home, probably playing video games.
I wanted him to come over and help me, is this such a big deal to people?

Sorry, busy.

Ouch.
That hurted my little already so broken heart.

As I break inside
Laying on the floor in pain and having suicidal thoughts, noone is there.

I'm all alone.