Beneath The Marfa Lights

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Inspired by the song called Marfa by Folk Family Revival.

Info about the Marfa Lights:     https://tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/lxm01

"I caught eyes with a stranger. We drank until we choked. She warned me of the danger but I forgot about your ghost."

Sirens. Each kind of emergency vehicle has a distinct sounding siren. The difference is slight but I know each and every one. Why wouldn't I? I've been listening to them for months. Every morning it's the same thing. The sirens wail louder and louder until my heart nearly beats out of my chest and I wake up in a state of total panic.

It's been almost two years since the sirens have been waking me up. It's a sticky summer morning and even with the air conditioner running the thin white sheets on my bed are sticking to my bare skin. Who can sleep with clothes on, even at night, during the summer's of West Texas?

I groan as I roll over off my bed to go take a shower. The luke warm water is perfect as it rolls over my skin, relaxing all of the muscles that tensed up over night. I could stay in this shower forever but I force myself to wash up and get on with my day.

As I walk to the kitchen of my small apartment I stop and admire my son's nursery. He's been with his Nana for three days now. In just four more, my sweet Ajax would be back in my arms again. I miss his contagious smile, bright eyes, and bouncing curls. He'll be turning two soon. Maybe I should start planning his birthday.

I am a slave to routine. Everyday it's the same. Wake up, shower, get Ajax ready, stick him in his high chair, turn some music on, make us breakfast, pour myself a big glass of sweet tea, and then enjoy our morning together before I get ready for my day. Usually, I drop Ajax off with his babysitter before I go to work at Padre's, one of the more popular bars in town. Today though, as I go to open my fridge, someone knocks on my door.

I stand there frozen in my steps. No one ever comes to visit me. They use too, but that was until they realized that I just wanted to be left alone. A couple more knocks came from the direction of my front door, making me shake off the memories.

Curious as to who it could be, I rush over to the door. Opening it, I realize quickly that it wasn't anyone that I had thought of. Instead, it was the last person I would have even expected, and in his hands was a brown paper sack from a local taco joint and two styrofoam cups filled to the rim with sweet tea.

"Josh?" I question, making sure that I wasn't just seeing things.

He steps inside and sets the food on my coffee table. "Heh, yeah. I kind of just kept asking about you around town until it finally led me here. I thought you might be hungry."

I couldn't help but think about how adorable he was as he ran his hand through his shaggy hair, nervously. "That's very sweet of you but you really shouldn't be here." I admit, crossing my arms, and mimicking his nervousness.

"You keep telling me that Dusty. I don't understand," he sighs as he puts his hands on my shoulders.

His deep, coppery brown eyes seemed so sad and desperate as he looked into mine. I couldn't handle how they seemed to bore into my soul so I push off of him. Looking away I say, "I'm no good for you, Josh."

"How do you know what's good for me and what's not. You barely know me." The frustration in his voice was clear.

He had every right to be. I'm the one that climbed onto the back of his motorcycle just nights before, after he finished his acoustic set at Padre's. I'm the one that showed him around town as I tightly wrapped my arms around his waist. I'm the one that let him push me up against the door of my pick up truck and kiss me as the sun was rising. I led him on and now I was blowing him off. "I don't know how to make you understand. It's not that simple." I say as I try not to cry.

"Will you please try," he asks. "I don't want to give up knowing that I didn't at least try to understand why such a beautiful and amazing girl doesn't think she deserves to be happy."

Something in me clicked then like that one loose brick was pulled out and the walls that I have had up for so long came crashing down. "Okay, Josh. I'll tell you, but not here. Not right now."

"Any where. Any time." He replies desperately.

"Pick me up tonight at sun set." I smile.

Satisfied with my reaction, he plasters a dazzling smile on his face, and starts to walk out of the door. "Aren't you going to eat breakfast with me?" I giggle as I pull him back in and over to my couch.