Chapter 1
Warning!
Today is not the day. I'm sick of being a push over. I'm sick of being the person with the big heart, never hating people for the wrong they do to me. Mama always saying stop being so nice to them, or saying and being mean wont help either. My head is spinning with all these emotions and feelings I have inside of me and things I would like to tell people. Being the girl who always laughs and smiles to hide the pain is not as easy as it use to be when I was the girl who had pain that went unnoticed.
My daily routine is the same everyday wake up tend to his needs, during the day tend to his needs, at night tend to his needs, in my sleep tend to his needs. But silently in my head always thinking, " What about my needs". Not wanting to be the type of girl that nags or complains all the time. Its not as easy as it seems. I'm NOT a yes ma'am BITCH SO DON'T GET IT TWISTED! I just strongly believe in making the one you love or is in love with happy even if it begins to compromise my own happiness. I don't want to be the type of woman who cant keep a man because my opinion becomes a nagging session or my thoughts become my actions. I want to be genuinely happy. I don't want to be the type of female who doesn't get the attention at home. So I go out and find attention and cheat. I'm not a cheater and I hate cheaters but as usual what do I do when I'm playing my part. But don't get the piece of the pie or prize.
Most people might say, " Girl leave him that ain't rite , you don't deserve that". But that's not as easy said done. I know at the same time it's up to him to know where he's won and that he has a girl who tends to his needs and he should tend to hers but. I don't think he knows how to do that any more. People are never the same person after y'all get into a dating situation which sucks. People change and you live and you learn. I mean most people would say girl you get it good he don't beat you he don't curse you he's only ignoring you. It's okay that's something you work threw. But its never that simple. A conversations about how one feels can only go so far when that person feels there's nothing wrong with the relationship! But I mean how much longer can I wave my flag before he gets the WARNING!
Its hard waking up everyday knowing that its not a grantee
