The Best Version Of Me

Chapter 1

You ever feel like the whole world is on your shoulders and no one understands what you're going through. Well that's how I've been feeling for about a year now.

I can't help but feel like I deserve everything that's happened to me. Gosh, I'm so stupid. I feel like my heart has been ripped and shredded by a cheese grater. My head is spinning uncontrollably and my brain is complete mush.

I'm normally an excited, energetic, bubbly person. Now... I don't even know how I would describe myself. I know I listen to Taylor Swift a lot more than usual. I keep telling myself that the move was for the best but I just feel so stupid and so hurt.

My boyfriend of six months cheated on me with my sister. Yep. My sister. My own flesh and blood. And the worst part about it is that she's carrying his twin girls. Honestly, I don't think I would be so upset if she wasn't pregnant. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I liked Dillon.

We were getting to know each other and I liked what I saw. I've always believed that my sister was alot prettier than me. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty too, I just think she looks better and she knows that she looks better. She can have anyone and anything that she wants no matter if that person or thing is for someone else.

It was no use in fighting her for Dillon. He obviously wanted to be with her. Plus, I could never fight my sister (or any other female) over a guy. Those were six incredible months but let's face it; that's not really a long time.

I didn't cry. I wanted to though, God I wanted to but I wouldn't let them see me hurting. Anne, my sister, always said that by always trying to help people I would end up getting hurt. She was right. I just didn't think she would be the one to hurt me. Purposely. In her words, she was trying to show me how easy it is for people to turn on you. Well she definitely turned on me didn't she.

It's been a complete year now and I still haven't quite gotten over it yet. Now I'm being summoned back to my childhood home for mom's birthday weekend. Mom knew I wouldn't want to go back home because of what happened but she's so keen on getting her way.

Guess that's where Anne gets it from.

"You know you don't have to go Bam." Dad says to me.

My dad, Ronnie, is my rock. I love him more than anyone else in the world. I'm just like him. He's kind, helpful, and all around easy going. He's forgiving and loves hard. I live with dad in California while mom and Anne live in Florida.

Mom divorced dad when I was 15 years old and Anne was 16. She said she couldn't be with someone that had no backbone. Ouch. Needless to say, dad was devastated. Mom had said a lot of hurtful things to dad in a very public restuarant during our weekly family dinner.

Dad, being the good guy that he is, forgave her even though she never apologized. He did everything that he could to save their marriage. Offered marriage counseling, agreed to an open marriage (per mom's request), and even tried to be mean and heartless. Of course nothing worked. Mom, like Anne, gets everything she wants.

I smiled at Dad and reached for his hand across the breakfast table which was an epic fail. As I reached for his hand I accidently knocked over his coffee mug making the hot coffee run down his leg. Dad sprang up from his seat and grabbed a cloth to clean himself up.

"Oh my gosh. Dad, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Crap. Let me help you." I said as I got up but instantly fell.

My foot was still wrapped around the chair. I looked up as I hear Dad laughing at me which makes me laugh. Suddenly, he's laughing so hard that his face turns red and he's holding his stomach. I frown at him suddenly not feeling too bad about spilling hot liquid on him.