I don't know who I am anymore. I find myself lost in darkness spiraling deeper into the abyss with every twist. Trying to grip any untrimmed tree limb that dare rub my finger tips. Then the manifestation of your hand and the illusion of your heart. I should've known from the start. That we together would ultimately fall apart because nothing lasts forever. Now does it? Everything I've held close is morphing into sand and I can't stop it's spilling from my hands . Nonsense continuously unravels itself into nonsense, i'm lost in my conscience if that's even me. Holding on to previous identities sand in my hand I'm spilling right back into the sea sinking under the weight on my chest drowning in my last little breath I wish I would've explained... But for a while words were just tears, but now here they appear, black and white, you've stopped reading, but this took a thousand half the nights. And every night there was a dream replaying itself to my closed eyes but it was you who was blind. Or maybe. Or maybe me or maybe we. I couldn't see that I'd never satisfy and you can't see that I'm everything you need. But now I feel it, when my heart drops to my stomach tied in knots because I am so sick of not being good enough. And so disgusted with myself for thinking that I had a chance still so deeply in love with the moments that keep us moving past each other, these are just thoughts that you'd never understand.
And I'm so damn sorry.
W.F.D.
