Chapter Thirty-Five

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(Author's Note: Pretty badass picture I included, right? ;) Still in Kylo Ren's point of view.)

"I . . ." She trailed off, squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and admitted with self-hate, "Kylo Ren, I killed innocent people."

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Nira opened her tear-glistened eyes and stared at me. I propped myself up onto an elbow.

"It's okay. No one will find out." I reassured her. I was confident that she would calm down after my few words, but alas.

Nira curled up into a tighter ball and her chest began heaving up and down with more sobbing. "What is wrong? No one will ever know of your deeds except for you and I!"

She took a short break from her crying and breathed at me, "That's not the point! The point is I did it!"

Her words shook and at the end of her sentence she broke down into more tears. "Then what is the meaning of this sadness?" I demanded, watching her disconsolate tears roll down her soft cheeks and across the curves of her wondrous face.

"I know I killed them, and that's too much! Kylo Ren, I can't handle it!" She looked dead into my eyes as she spoke and that's when I realized that she was far from the end of her training. She was far from transforming into a powerful, merciless, true First Order warrior.

But I'll get her there, I thought determinedly before resuming the conversation.

"Nira, it will be okay. You will forgive yourself. Those people will be forgotten. They were trying to kill you, correct?" I had to project my voice so she could hear me over her vociferous sobbing.

"Yes," She answered weakly, wiping some tears off of her face with the back of her hand.

"It's okay, Nira. That's not murder if they were violently approaching you. It's self-defense." I reassured her, even though technically, Nira had murdered.

Nira had murdered, I thought, and somehow that thought was appealing to me. She was a woman of power. She could put up a fight. How sexy.

I let her cry for some more time, and all I did was watch her. I loved watching her; I loved watching the way her luscious lips puckered, the way her exquisite eyes scrunched together and squeezed out tears, the way her soft eyebrows furrowed, and the provocative way her curved body curled up. Oh, her body. Her body sent racy thoughts careening through my mind and I had to exert a generous amount of self-control to keep my wanting, greedy hands from touching her.

If I'm going to be honest, I constantly think about Nira. Sometimes I think about her as an apprentice and I think about what's to come in our next days of training. Sometimes I think of her as a younger sister and I yearn to protect her to the best of my ability. Most of the time I think of her as woman, meaning that I imagine the things I desire to do to her. The things I lust to do with Nira could very well be considered sins.

Nira eventually stopped crying. She hiccuped for several minutes and then she resorted to calm breathing. It had taken her many hours to let out her emotion, which showed me just how opposed to killing Nira is.

"Do you want to sleep?" I suggested in a soft whisper. Nira responded by slowly climbed under the covers. I copied her, and began to feel tired myself. My body brutally stung in various places but my exhaustion numbed the excruciating pain.

I was just beginning to slip into slumber when I was viciously pulled back into consciousness by a few soft fingers that I felt on my back through my tight black top. My eyes widened and the warming sensation lurched into me from all angles. I intensely focused on the fingers that timidly remained on the spot in my back before moving sideways until they reached my shoulder.

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