Honey Tea Lemon Tree

Chapter One

I'm just gonna come right out and say it - I'm in love with Oceanus. I hug him, do anything for him, tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. I adore everything about him from his gingery red hair to his innocent smile and laugh, and whenever he's around I feel so happy and calm. But the thing is, I'm not romantically attracted to him. I have no desire to passionately kiss him, marry him or sleep with him. The best way to describe my love for him is like how a mother loves her child, despite the fact that I've never had children or really felt any sort of maternal instinct.

I'm 28 now, and 12 of those years were spent being in love with Oceanus. And let me tell you, it was anything but love at first sight.

Oceanus and I met back in 2004. I was 15 and pissed off. My mom had been having an affair for the past year and a half with a guy from New York, and my dad and I didn't find out about it until we caught her packing up her belongings in the middle of the night to run off with the guy. My parents divorced not long after, and Daddy managed to win custody of me.

I was so mad at the world and at my mom that I didn't care about morals or consequences. I hung around with the wrong crowd, got into fights, and got with a boy, Dylan, who was much older than me, and I even spent some time in JDC. My dad was anything but pleased.
And to make things even worse for my dad, we were losing money. Both my parents worked a job, and without dual income we couldn't afford to live in the city apartment we had been living in. So, in hopes of saving money and a fresh start, my dad and I moved into a mini-mansion with an elderly woman and her 12 year old grandson.

But rather than make me feel refreshed, it made me even madder. I had to leave all my friends and Dylan behind, but me and him tried to keep a long distance relationship. The last thing I remember before meeting Oceanus was me and Dylan texting each other on our flip-phones, and I was listening to Crazy in Love on my purple portable CD player. I was in the passenger's seat of my dad's car, and we were on our way to meet the people we were moving in with. He tapped my shoulder, and I took off my headphones. "What is it?" I asked.
"Listen close," Daddy replied. "Y'know how I said the lady has a 12 year old grandson?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, there's something you should know about him. He has special needs, and he can't talk. He's a mute."

I couldn't believe it. "And you're waiting until now  to tell me?"
"He's a good kid, Carli," my dad said. 
I groaned. "First you take me away from all my friends, and now you're moving me into a house with a nasty old hag and her retarded grandson-"
"Carli, you better shut your mouth before I smack you!" my dad said. "If I catch you physically or verbally abusing that boy, I'll make you wish you were back in JDC where it was less brutal!" He took no crap, and I wasn't the one to give it to him. So, I listened to my music during the rest of the ride and kept my anger to myself. We eventually pulled into the driveway of the mini-mansion, knocked on the door, and there we were greeted by an elderly woman in a wheelchair. "Hello," she said softly. Her voice was relaxing and beautiful, but it couldn't put me out of my bad mood. "You must be Ray and Carli."
"That we are," Daddy replied, reaching out to shake the woman's hand. He shook it, and she extended it out to shake mine. As I shook it, I looked at her other hand. It appeared to be paralyzed.
"My name is Lorraine," she said. "And I'll introduce you to my grandson, Oceanus." She turned her wheelchair around. It was one of those fancy ones where you use that joystick thingy to move. "Oceanus, dear, come meet our new housemates!" she called.
My first thought upon seeing him was, Jesus Christ, that's a face only a mother could love! He had a round face and his cheeks puffed out, and a sprinkling of freckles across his nose. His eyes were tealish, and his hair was the color of The Grand Canyon. I was a little turd back then, wasn't I? But now whenever I look upon his face, I see precious beauty and innocence that only someone like him could have.

"Hey-hey, how's it going Oceanus?" my dad said warmly, talking to him like he would to a small child. Oceanus looked up at my dad with wide, wondering eyes. "He's rather friendly for a child with special needs," Lorraine said. "Just talk to him softly and he'll be calm." Oceanus slowly approached Daddy. "C'mon, Oceanus," he said.
Oceanus' eyes shifted to me. It was the first time he and I made eye contact, and now that I had a better look at him I did see innocence in his face. My dad nudged me. "Talk to him," he said. "He won't bite."
I reluctantly smiled at Oceanus. "Hi there," I said. "My name's Carli." Just then he came up to me and reached for the ditty bop shades I was wearing. I turned away from him. "Don't touch my shades!" I said firmly. 
"Oceanus," Lorraine said in a motherly voice. "We don't touch other people's belongings." I turned back toward him, half expecting him to start crying. But to my surprise, I saw him pointing outside at our car. "I think he wants to help with your luggage," Lorraine said. "He likes to help people sometimes."

So we let him help unpack our belongings, and he showed us where we'd be sleeping. I was alone with him for the first time when he lead me to my room. Before he showed it to me, he took my hand and looked at me with an innocent expression on his face, as if he were to say "I'm sorry for trying to touch your shades. I won't do it again." But at the time, I was too cold of a person to accept his apology. So, I merely thanked him for showing me to my room and went inside. It was a small room, with a bed neatly made for me. I was about to start unpacking when I felt like I was being watched. I turned around and found Oceanus still looking at me. "Y'know, you can go now," I said in a sort of bitchy tone. Oceanus left.

The rest of the day went kind of normally. Lorraine gave us a tour of the house and told us about herself and Oceanus. His parents died in a plane crash when he was a baby, so Lorraine took him in, and despite the fact that she had polio (which was why her arm and legs were paralyzed.) She raised him all his life, and didn't let her deteriorating health get in her way. We also found out that she used to love to play piano, and Oceanus had inherited that trait. There was a baby grand piano in the foyer of the house that she and him would play together. And that night, as I went to bed, I heard piano music coming from there. I peeked inside, and saw Oceanus and Lorraine playing it. She was playing one hand, he was the other. They looked so, happy. When I saw the smiles on both of their faces, I did something I hadn't done in a long time - I allowed myself to feel something. It wasn't a tear-jerking feeling or anything like that. As a matter of fact, it kind of felt like jealousy. I saw how happy they were together, and I wanted that so badly. But I came to the realization that if I wanted to be happy, I was going to have to feel, which was something I didn't want. With that, I erased the thought and hurried to bed to sleep off the feeling.