The Hardest Truth From You | Book One ✔️

| Eleven |

| Eleven |


After dinner, I went to the mailbox to check if mail came in. All there were was Victoria's Secret coupons, catalogues for random stores we didn't even shop at, and brochures. I noticed an envelope that was sent from Downy Sides Family for Youth to Jamie. It located in New York, New York. It sounded so familiar, like someone told me about it before. But the question was why a random company was sending Jamie mail for?


"Jamie." I walked into the bedroom and handed the envelope to her. She was standing, looking out to the window.


"What's this?"


"I don't know."


"Downy sides family..." Jamie muttered to herself. "This is an adoption agency. They probably responded to my letter for my mom!"


"Well, open it!" I smiled anxiously.


Jamie quickly ripped the envelope to pieces and unfolded the paper. She covered it with her hands and handed it to me. "Can you read it for me?"


"Sure." I said before reading the words in black and white before me.


Dear Jamie Williams,
We received a letter from you that you wished to contact your birth mother, Jaycee Anne Williams. We reached contact with your mother. Unfortunately, she wishes no contact with you...


My eagerness for a mother-daughter reunion came into a disappointment. I looked up into Jamie's anxious face, which quickly cleared into emotionless after reading mine. "She rejected my letter, didn't she?"


I handed it back to her and she quickly read the haunting words to herself. Jamie looked up as her glossy eyes began to redden along with her face.


"I'm so sorry, Jamie."


"I knew it." She said sharply, clenching her teeth in pain. "I knew she didn't want me."


"Are you going to be okay?"


Jamie looked at me and quickly stormed into the bathroom. She shuts and locks the door and immediately sobs deeply in agony, muttering cursing words. It was a really bad time to tell her. I felt that it would be heavy on her to know that I was cheating on her and she receives a rejection letter from her mother.


I knocked on the door lightly. "Jamie? Can I come in?"


"Baby, I just need like five minutes." Jamie sniffed heavily as she continues to sob. "Okay?"


I've seen and heard her cry before. These cries were unrecognizable. Her cries were unrecognizable, it wasn't Jamie's. These were the cries of a person who has lost a mothers's touch, a mother's love that didn't even care what happened to her daughter. It wasn't the letter itself, but what was behind it. An uncaring mother.


"Can you at least open the door so I can talk to you?" I laid my head against the door before Jamie slowly opened it.


"What can you talk to me about?" Her tears werne't present, but her face was still rosy as her eyes were puffed and swelled up. "She doesn't want me. She rejected my letter. And I spent all night-all fucking night to write it, and she just doesn't want anything to do with me. My parents were right, she doesn't want me."


"Well then that's her loss." I said softly, trying not to be blunt like I usually would. "She's missing out on a lot."


"Missing out on what? Speaking to a dead-beat daughter who can't even afford to go to college?"


"No. She's missing out on a wonderful independent woman like you who has a lot to go ahead of her. She shouldn't have done that."


"Well-she did. There isn't anything I could do about it but just live with it. So now I barely know who my father is and my mother doesn't want anything to do with me." Jamie shut the bathroom door behind her. "Perfect world I live in right?"


"Jamie-"


"I'm going to bed." She interrupted as laid onto bed, covering herself with the sheets. "I had a really long day-I don't need this bullshit right now."


| Tuesday Morning |


As I dressed up for school, Jamie was still laying in bed upset from yesterday. She really was not herself.


"Jamie, aren't you going to get dressed?"


"No. I have a headache right now." She rested the back of her palm on her forehead. "I think I'll skip another day of school, then I'll come back tomorrow."


"Are you going back to work?"


"Yeah, I have to. Well, at least for next week."


"Well okay." I grabbed my car keys and my book bag. "I see you later then. I love you."


"I love you too." She softly said before resting again.


~-~


School was a bit better than Monday, but I was still getting weird vibes from Nick. He would look straight at me, then turn away when I noticed. He looked like he did bad, like he told somebody about our affair. I should have been the one looking away for instigating it. Trixie gave me sinister looks as I passed by her. Me and Riley talked a little, but only school related. Things haven't been the same with all of us lately. Nick was avoiding me, Riley was distancing herself from me, and Jamie didn't want to come to school. It's all my fault. And Jamie was going to feel much worse once she found out what I did. The day became longer as I really didn't have much people to talk to. The classes became more boring, and the teachers were just plain annoying. Graduation was just a month away, but it felt like it was taking forever. We were going to graduate on the fifteenth of June since we had so much snow days from the snow storm on February and cancellations from the Sandy Storm.


But nothing was compared to what I was about to face. I had two more classes before school was finally over. I opened up my locker to get my social studies book. I close my locker door, look to my right and there was Trixie. Her face was red as her black eyes narrowed straight at me, with her lips drawn. I've seen Trixie trolled before. You know, finding ways to piss me and Jamie off for no reason and most of the time it would work. This time, she was the one pissed off. And I didn't understand why.


"What's up with you?"


Trixie continued to stare straight at me. Suddenly with all force, a slap struck my face. It was so hard, so loud, and so forceful that it nearly made me tumble. A few students stop their business to witness the scene. I pull myself together and look at her with my hand covering my reddened cheek. "What's wrong with you? Why did you do that? I should be the shit out of you for doing something like that!"


"Are you trying to get me pissed off, Rachael? Because it's working!."


"What are you talking about?"


"You slept with Nick! Did you know he's my boyfriend? How could you do something like that?"


"I don't know what you're talking about." I attempted to walk past Trixie, but she blocked me.


"I think you know exactly what I' talking about." She took a step back and folded her arms. "You're nothing but a stupid slut. Going around and sleeping with people's boyfriends. I thought you were better than that. I thought you were a better girlfriend to Jamie."


"What me and Jamie are doing is none of your business." I said defensively. "You don't know anything."


"Nick told me. He told me everything, which made me break up with him because of you."


"But why are you slapping me instead of him?"


Trixie shook her head in disbelief. "Because you are a lady. Have respect for yourself, but most importantly have respect for girlfriend. Learn when to say no, even when the guy is coming on to you."


"I'm sorry for your break up, Trixie. But-"


"Save it." She broke in. "I don't care what you have to say. I didn't like you from the beginning but I still had some respect for you. Now, it doesn't even matter anymore."


Trixie walked pass me as I was left alone of the humiliation of the student body. Everyone saw it, including Riley that was standing next to a girl. Everyone knew what I have done, except for Jamie. How could Nick do this to me? How could he betray me like this, as a friend? I could never look at him the same ever again. I could never look at anyone the same ever again.


~-~


I opened door to our apartment and I saw Jamie standing before me. I didn't expect her to stand there like that, so she startled me. Her eyes were fixed at mine, like a sinister mad wolf. I never saw that look on her before. She was so serious.


"Jesus Christ, Jamie!" I said clenching my throbbing chest. "You scared the crap out of me."


"Close the door, Rachael."


Rachael? She's never called me by my real name, unless she was really upset about something.


Jamie took out her cigarette and lit it. As she puffed a long stream of smoke, she said, "How was school?"


I looked at her puzzled and said, "It was okay." I cupped my bruised cheek with my hand. But the look on Jamie's face told me that she had already saw it.


"What's that on your face?"


"This? I probably slept on it wrong, that's all."


"It wasn't there when you left this morning."


"I slept wrong at school."


"Anyways." She sat on the couch with her legs spread apart. It was a good thing she was wearing sweats, though. "I decided to eat a snack earlier today. The reason was because I was hungry."


"Okay." I didn't know where she was going with this.


"But I didn't like it. So I threw it away in the garbage bin our room." Jamie puffed another smoke between her lips. "As I did so, I found this."


Jamie reached to the floor and pulled out the EPT pregnancy test box. Crap, I'm busted. I felt the apocalypse of Jamie's wrath was about to fuse in any second. As a matter if fact, I wished the real apocalypse happened so I wouldn't have to spit it out.


"Care to explain what the fuck is a pregnancy test box doing in our fucking trash bin?" Jamie said in a loud tone.


"I don't know what you're talking about. I never used that."


"So it just magically appeared?" She slammed her hand against the cushion. "Rachael, are you pregnant?"


I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I couldn't tell her, I didn't want to.


"Are you?!"


"Yeah." I croaked softly.


Jamie forcefully blew a smoke before throwing it into the tray. "So that meant you slept with somebody, right?"


"No." I lied.


"Did you get raped? Was that the reason you called me to come down here?"


"No."


Jamie rose up suddenly and shrieked, "Then what is it?! You told me it was an emergency, you're pregnant. So why did you call me to come back home, Rachael?"


I wanted to get out of there. I was in a total hot seat. I turned around and attempted to leave. But Jamie grabbed by my right arm and pulled me back. "You're not going anywhere!"


"Jamie!"


"You slept with somebody, didn't you? Was that the reason you made me give up an amazing trip to come back here?" Jamie face turned pink. "Is it?"


I nodded my head.


Jamie breathed a long sigh as she roughly ran her hand down her face. "Please don't tell me you slept with someone in our bed."


"No, it wasn't."


"Oh God, Rachael." Jamie pulled back her hair in frustration. "This isn't true!"


I didn't know what to say. Saying any excuse I could come up with would anger Jamie even more. So I kept my mouth shut as she groans in pain.



"How could you do this to me?!" She yelled out as her bloodshot eyes swelled up in tears. "I trusted you!"

I was so saddened and disappointed in myself to do this to her. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Her brittle tone rose louder. "You think 'sorry' is going to fix all of this? You think saying 'sorry' is going to fix our marriage? You think saying 'sorry' is going to change everything you did?"

"I want to be with you, Jamie. I absolutely love you and I didn't intend it to be that way. It just happened"

"Yeah, it just randomly happened!" Jamie shook her head in disbelief. "If you wanted to be with me then you wouldn't be doing this!"

She squinted her eyes as tears rapidly streamed down her rosy cheeks. "Baby, I trusted you." Her voice cracked and fell into a saddened whisper.

I reached over and said, "Jamie, I love you. I honestly love-"

"Save it!" She cried out. "I don't want hear anything from you. I can't even look at you right now. I feel so disgusted that you could do something like that, Rachael. Only God knows how much hours I work to make us scrape by and you're just going to get all frisky with some guy? And you're going to have the nerve, crying in my face that you love me?"

"Jamie." My lips quivered. "I don't know what to say to that."

"Of course you don't." She murmured under her breath and turned back away from me, embarrassed and ashamed to even look at me.

"But." I continued. "I have more to tell you than you think."

Jamie slowly turned her head and looked at me with suspicion. "What? There's more?"

I didn't want to tell her, but it was killing me inside. She needed to know this.

"I didn't just sleep with some guy." My stomach felt nauseous just admitting to it. "I slept with Nick."


Her angered expression cleared into shock. "You slept with....my...." Her face suddenly turned into pale tone with a green tint. Jamie quickly ran to our bathroom. I could hear the putrid vomit splashing into the toilet bowl, almost animal like sounds. She was so disgusted by my infidelity, she threw up.


Jamie comes back to the living room, wiping off the vomit chunks on the corners of her mouth. She looked at me and said,  "It's one thing to have sex with some guy, but Nick? My best friend? And you're pregnant with him?" She was still frail, as she struggled with her voice to sound normal.


"I don't know what to do. Nick doesn't even want to look at me, and he's the father of my baby."


"Looks like you're going to have to work something out with him." Jamie walked over to me and opened the door. "I'm going to go to a friend's house and bunk with them for the night. I'm not telling you who it is. I want you out by the time I'm back tomorrow, you understand?"


"Jamie. I can't-"


"Can't what?" Jamie broke in sharply. "You can't live without me? That you can't live without the financial support I have that you totally abused? I can't live with a cheater, Rachael. I can't live with someone who I can't trust anymore."


She closed the door before I could speak. I've done it. That was the end. That was the end of us, our friendship, our marriage, our future family. It was all over. I couldn't cry anymore. Crying wasn't going to make things better. Crying wasn't going to make Jamie open the door and kiss me softly like she use to. Crying wasn't going to do anything for me. Crying was just a waste of time.






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