FERF the Unicorn

FERF

*I wrote this a long time ago as a joke. I haven't changed any of it so yeah (: enjoy.

Once upon a time,there was a Unicorn.
That unicorns name was Ferf.
Ferf was a sprinkled unicorn.
Those deliciously sweet crumb sized bites of sugar were all over his body.
But Ferf didn't like having sprinkles all over his body.He always had trolls and goblins following him, licking his wings to try and get a taste of of the sugary sweetenes.
So one day after an idiotic garden gnome went too far and VIOLATED FERF, (not like you think) Ferf was like, "nuh uh I ain't do in this crap no more" and waved his hoof in the air sassily.
He then when to the magical fairy princess of fairopolis, who knew all kinds of magic. They said she was BEAUTIFUL.
Ferf asked the fairy princess to use magic to get all the sprinkles on his body to disappear forever, but the princess said,
"Uh sorry man I don't have that kind of magic." In a very deep voice. That was when Ferf realized

THE PRINCESS WAS A DUDE

Ferf puked icecream a little in his mouth, but quickly swallowed it for he was about to speak. The sight of seeing a large, hairy man fairy stuffed inside a princess suit was horrendous.
"Ok." Ferf neighed. Saddened and slightly scarred Ferf started to walk away when the fairy princess stopped him.

"I can take those sprinkles of by myself Ferf." He said huskily. Ferfs mouth dropped and out came a waterfall of rainbow colored Icecream. Ferf screamed and galloped away as fast as he could.

He did not know the fairy man princess was gay until now. Thoughts ran through his mind and he came to a conclusion that the man princess probably had all of the albums to Queen, an old, popular man band.

Ferf arrived at his home.
Depressed and saddened, he sat on his squatty potty and cried. Pieces of caramel candy and starburst fell from his eyes.
"FML!" He neighed. The abbreviation echoing through his home.
The next day Ferf went to the store.He searched through the aisles for extra alpha green hay to put him out of his depressing pain when

he ran into another unicorn. The unicorn smelled like rainbow frozen yogurt.
"Sorry,"she neighed and continued her search."

it's ok." He neighed back. He noticed her trying to reach for some cake mix but she was too short.
Ferf easily gabbed it for her using his wings and handed her the mix.
"Thanks." She neighed.  Ferf bowed his head a little and asked "what's that for?"

"Oh," she neighed. "You see, the squatty potty commercial got over a million views on YouTube, so me and my comrades are celebrating."
That's when Ferf realized how stupid he was. He smashed his forehead with his hoof. HOW COULD HE NOT NOTICE!!!

This unicorn was the squatty potty unicorn, his idol. Even though she had a magical gift of pooping icecream and frozen yogurt, she was not abused or violated for it.
"Y-y-you're he squatty potty unicorn!" He neighed in excitement. She laughed and nodded.

Ferf's excitement caused his sprinkles to fly everywhere in the store, but quickly regenerated new ones. Trolls and goblins crawled all over the floor eating the old sprinkles.
Ferf and the SP Unicorn, or Ginney, talked and soon later, Ferf became a national sensation on YouTube as well, becoming an idea for a Unicorn collectible figure, with sprinkles all over it
After that Ferf married the SP Unicorn, boosting his fame and being interviewed in the Fairy Tail Teller News.
Ferf then hired a body guard who hated sprinkles. The body guard would punch and troll or goblin who tried licking him.

Ferf finally lived a happy life, working in the Squatty Potty business with the SP Unicorn, and everyday, Ferf would see his self up on a billboard with a hoof up in the air and a caption saying "Ferf is Werf it"

And the best part was, they photoshopped out his sprinkles.

The lesson is, sprinkles is a burden, don't get diabetes. Also, buy a squatty potty and support the Taco Unicorn foundation.

THE END

And that was the story of FERF.

Ferf is Werf it.

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