Inscriptions on my soul

Sorry - (Old - 2013)

A/N - This was written during my particularly rough pregnancy with my daughter. I felt alone, and though that seems to be a recurring theme I am no where near this bad now lol. It is a true representation of depression in pregnancy and is something that needs to be recognized by society. Pregnant mothers are usually the joke "oh shes emotional because she is hormonal" However, many are struggling, especially when struggling with illness (In my case I had HG, I was not able to leave my apartment, and spent most of my time on my bathroom floor). 

To my unborn child, I am sorry;

Sorry that you are being born to a mother who no one likes;

Sorry that you are being born to a mother who could not finish school;

Sorry that you are being born to the most worthless of women;

I am sorry that you will never know what it is like to have friends;

Since people will take one look at me and run;

I am sorry that when people make fun of you most of the jokes will be "yo mama so";

There's nothing i can do about it, this is what I am;

To my unborn child I am sorry;

And only ask to be forgiven;

You will never experience the love of relatives;

Because no one local loves me;

You will never hear the joy in numbers;

Because no one will celebrate your birth;

To my unborn child I am not sorry;

That I am giving birth to you anyway;

Maybe I'm selfish;

Maybe not;

But I want someone to love;

Maybe you can love me for the time that I am here;

But if not, I understand;

I don't love myself, so why should you love me?;

To my unborn child I am sorry;

More sorry than words can say;