Why is he tapping on my window? Every damn night! He knows I will never let him in. No matter how gorgeous he thinks he is, and well to be honest, he is gorgeous. No matter that his brown eyes can still sparkle like they are on fire. It doesn't matter that his very presence makes me want to attack him. I fear him. I want him. I fear that I want him.
Damn it!!!
I sit up in bed and turn to look at the clock. It is 3 freakin' 40 in the morning. I have only been asleep about 2 hours. We were even at the same party, in which he ignored me the ENTIRE time, and as soon as I am getting into a good and deep sleep he taps. Usually I end up leaving the room with my blanket in hand and finish sleeping on the couch. I have used the "my bed's not comfortable" sentence to explain this to my mom.
Mom. She told me that guys who act mean might actually be trying to say they like you. Well, he must LOVE me. He torments me at every waking, and I guess non-waking moment.
Tonight, I mean this MORNING, I decide to open the window. I sure hope this is not a huge mistake!
"Conall, what the hell do you want?"
"I only want you to let me in." he replied with his amazing fire brown eyes boring into mine. I have no idea how fire can burn in brown eyes, but I can see it. It sort of freaks me out and I want to burn in it at the same time.
"Why?"
"Because you need me." He says this with a totally straight face like no one has ever needed anyone in their entire life.
Exasperated and tired I tell him, "There is no way on God's green earth, and yes I said GOD (he flinched) that I will ever let you in my house, especially not through my window at 3 in the morning!"
I will say this for him, he is persistant. Every night/morning for the past 2 weeks he has tried to get me to let him in. For some reason my mom never hears me speaking to him. It's like the only sound going on is him, me and my room. If I go out into the hall all sound returns. I don't understand it and no one would believe me if I told them.
"Then, come out to me?" He ends it as a question. Weird. This is the first time it occurred to him to ask me to come out. For some reason I felt it would be horribly bad to let him in, but I felt safe in going out. Backward, right?
"Fine!" I said strongly. As I opened the door to my room and stepped into the hallway I could hear my mom breathing deeply in sleep. I could hear the fan in the living room. I turned on the porch light and opened the door. It was when the cold night air hit me that I realized meeting a hot guy at the door at almost 4 in the morning wearing a sleeveless, short night shirt may not be the best idea. I turned the porch light off lickity split.
"You are beyond beautiful, April."
"Come off it, Conall! What do you want?"
"You." He looked so sincere. He looked like a man in love and it was so confusing.
"Look," I said as I stepped out of the house and onto the porch,"I don't get your deal!"
As soon as my foot hit the porch step he backed up looking at me in revulsion.. He almost seemed afraid of me. I stepped back into the house and his expression changed. Adoration? Lust? Love?
"April, please, may I come in?"
"Why do you come here?"
"For you."
"Then why did you look like I was the creature from the Black Lagoon when I stepped outside?"
"I didn't."
"You did!"
"April, you called me here. Here I am."
Something about this seemed way too familiar. What was going on? I also realized that I could hear no other sound except Conall and me. Our breathing, our body movements as we shifted position. I stepped out again.
I could hear cars on the road, hear the wind, and could see Conall's face pinced in revulsion, yet again.. I stepped back into the house, the sound gone, his face relaxed. Way too familiar and becoming more comfortable. There was a glowing in me. A warmth. Power?
"Conall," I whispered, "go back to my window and I will let you in.
He looked relieved. He looked contented. It was as if I had answered his prayer from....from where? I went back to my room passing my mom's door. She wasn't stirring.
As I entered my room I could see Conall looking in the window. I raised the screen and he stepped inside.
Conall fell to the floor at my feet. He took his hands and began massaging my ankles. Weird.
"What are you doing? What do you want?" I wasn't scared. I actually felt very much in control. Here is the boy who, every day at school, makes snide comments about me, rude gestures and sometimes when no one else sees, he looks scared.
"April, what would you have of me?"
"At the moment stand up and look me in the eye and tell me why-you-are-here"
He stood up slowly, placed his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes. He looked drugged. Perhaps this is the reason for his strange behavior. I placed my hands on top of his to remove them from my shoulders, even though it felt warm and almost electrifying. The moment my hands touched him a warm glowing sensation moved into my hands and began to spread up my arm very slowly. His face became one of pure joy and I felt how wrong this was and how powerful I felt. I wanted nothing more than to just stand there and bask in this feeling. Is this love? Infatuation, maybe. That's when he leaned forward to kiss me.
As my lips met his my hands moved away from him up to his throat. I started to squeeze him like I was trying to squeeze all life from him to enter into my body and he was letting me. I jumped back and he followed me. He grabbed my hands and held them down to my sides and when his lips met mine again I want to pull him in. He opened his mouth and I thrust my tongue as far into his as I could get. He tasted like the best candy in the world. I couldn't stop. He pushed me onto the bed, letting go of my hands, they crept back up to his neck again, but he pinned them to the bed this time. He pulled back to look at me and grinned, his eyes hazy, drunk. Then he spoke with a slight growl in his voice, "My turn."
I felt a moment of panic as he attacked my mouth again, I tried to pull him in, but he grabbed me around the waist with one arm and held my head to his with the other hand behind my neck. He was stealing my life as I had his, and then there was darkness.
