Lost in his love.

Prologue

I sat there in silence with the faint sounds of the road accompanying me. With such a busy work day the night hours were the only moments I had to myself. I stared at a notepad full of scrambled words that were an evaluation of my thoughts. I glanced back at the previous pages and stopped once I spotted an entry from some weeks ago.

"I can't say I don't miss him or maybe even wish he regretted his decisions. Afterall the circumstances appear to have made me stronger but as time passes I fail to realize what stronger is.. Not only this, but I fail to realize what love is."

"I wish that day never happened" I spoke in a soft tone.

I closed my eyes while inhaling deeply before they shot open due to the sound of the fridge. I allowed them to adjust to the dimly lit area of tour bus but I quickly looked away when I realized it was only him.

"Hey" he said with hesitation.

I could only manage to glance at him with a soft nod.

"I didn't know anyone was up" he said while grabbing a can of lemonade out of the fridge and sitting across from me.

I sat quiet for a moment with slight hesitation of what to do next. I then raised up from my seat and headed for the back exit.

"Rose please." he said in a soft tone, "Rose." he repeated slightly louder.

I took another deep breath and turned on my heels "What Elijah."

I watched his lips begin to form words before I spoke once more, "What could you possibly want?"

He stood up from his seat and walked over to me with ease. I glanced up at him and took in his tall structure towering over me.

It was quiet for a moment as his eyes failed to make contact with my own.

"I've missed you." he said with a longing in his voice.

I was lost for words until he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, please." I said while shrugging him off.

"I'm serious, Pooh."

"Will you just stop." I raised my voice and took a step back.

The sound of a clearing voice filled the area as Mr.Carter glanced back at us from the steering wheel.

"We never talked about it Rose and I know I shouldn't complain but I just wish you weren't so cold towards me."

"You cheated on me." I pressed my lips together before I spoke once more in a lowered tone. "You cheated and you lied. You couldn't even respect me enough to tell me you weren't happy."

"Look I know I should've told you but I was happy Rose. I just had these thoughts and I wish I could make you understand the fight I have within myself"

"I'll understand yours when you understand mine." I said as I turned around once more and walked through the narrow entrance to the back of the bus when I heard him speak.

"Do you not love me anymore?"

I stopped in my tracks as I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. I knew in my heart I did but I couldn't let him know the power he still had over me.

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