I Thought You Were My Friend

The Insane beginning

My name is Ella Fitzgerald and I'm just like everybody else, except for one little flaw, I'm classified as insane, well up until last year when I was checked out of the Hathaway Insane Institute for kids, though I never really made friends, I had to make up my own. Going into middle school wouldn't be any easier since I was a little crazy, but I start making up my own friends to help me get through each and every day. Let me tell you a little bit about myself, I didn't really have parents, my stepdad was an alcoholic who never really paid attention to me and my mother left me when I was seven, I was basically all alone. Skip up to today, my goal was walking out the front door with a fake smile pretending that I wanted to be there, but knowing that I had my invisible friends with me I knew I'd be okay. And before you get this mixed up, I actually did have friends, my friends names were Tiffany and Cecelia, they would never leave me no matter how long I've been crazy. But I have this one friend, named Ceff, I knew he would never leave me no matter how crazy I've gotten and he only knows that I have been crazy since last year and he thinks that I'm just the same but I've gotten even crazier.

I looked around knowing that I didn't have friends, though would be nice if I could just let go of all of my craziness be serene... and be normal , but I can't I didn't have the anticipation to be normal.

" So how was your summer?... ", Said Ceff interrupting my thoughts

" Same old same old, what about you?", I said looking down at my old tattered Converse

" Well, I hit the gym a little while but I couldn't really see myself changing so much so I quit and I guess I'm just the same old Ceff that you've always known", I looked at him and gave him a little smile but then I realized that I'm just crazy to think that he actually bought my story , the story of how I was fine the story of how same old same old but I wasn't I was even crazier and maybe it was just my head like everything else is, so why not have a little fun with friends.

I finally caught up with Cecelia and Tiffany , but they didn't really seem like they wanted to talk to me, I guess is because I didn't talk to them all summer, but I really couldn't , like I said I was stuck in the Hathaway insane institution for kids and guess what they didn't have cell reception.

I waited until second period to talk to Tiffany she said that she didn't really want to talk to me and I guess I couldn't blame her we didn't talk much anymore so I waited until third period to talk to Cecelia and she said that she didn't want to talk to me so I guess I was all alone Ceff and my "friends".

Finally lunch had come, except I was by myself eating a peanut butter sandwich and waited for some to come up to me and talk to me, but no such luck , so I decided to talk to my imaginary friends all alone, by myself, being crazy.

I went home and walked to the doorway to find my dad passed out drunk on the couch, this is my everyday life today just seemed different, today seemed horrible, I wanted to run out there and scream to the heavens saying mom back but I knew that she wouldn't , I knew that there's no possible way that my mom come back for me and my stepdad , I knew that she didn't want a crazy daughter and a drunken husband , and in my mind that wasn't okay .

That night I laid awake looking at my cracked ceiling, I wanted to run away I wanted so badly just to go up to the heavens be there by myself with my imaginary friends singing to me , playing with me , and just you know hanging out like a real friend would .

In my mind I knew that there had to be some kind of plan to get my friends to talk to me so I decided to look in the kitchen for something very sharp my step dad was still on the couch passed out drunk and I saw the knife... It gleamed in the moonlight looking at me talking to me saying , " use me, I want to be covered in red blood." , I picked it up ,shaking as I held it up to the sky.