My Story

From the beginning

As of alot of stories...mine is about being bullied and going through tough times. When I was born...my mom had cancer. She was told by the doctor that she would only live five more years. I didn't know until ten years later. My real dad cheated on my mom and my parents became divorced. I was too young to understand why, but it crushed in life.. I wanted to see my dad. I loved my dad more than I loved my mom then he leaves and never comes back for me. I knew he didn't like my other sisters and that's what made me love him more. My mom focused more on my other sisters and to this day argues with me and just hates me. I grew up thinking my dad left because of her and that made me hate her more. My dad kicked us on the streets and we lived in a car for three weeks. After my mom was working three jobs, she got an apartment. So many dust bunnies... Spider webs under the counter tops. The floor was a weird brown carpet. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a triangle shape. When my mom went to work and my sister went to school, I had to go to this mean babysitters house. She was so strict and mean. I used to play with her son in the back yard. One day that dog attacked my sister and she still has the scar on her face. I was attacked too, but not as bad. The dog was a pittbull and ever since that day my sister has hated pittbulls.. My oldest sister never lived with me, she went with her dad. We had different dad's and it wasn't till I was older that I knew she was my half sister. One day my mom came home and brought a guy. I was so happy. I didn't know who he was, but he was nice to me and mom seemed to like him. We ended up moving in with him and my sister started calling him dad... So I started calling him dad. They dated for ten years before getting married. I loved him at first...but then as I got older he seemed like he hated me.. He yelled at me all the time and complained about everything. My mom says he's just grumpy,but I don't know about being grumpy all the time. Now when he does something to make her mad, she yells at me for it and says that even though we arent blood related that he's my dad because we act the same way. The truth is... My mom is mean if you tick her off and my dad is grumpy all the time...so as I aged I became both and I get yelled at by both of them for it. My sister moved out and that's when all hell broke loose. No matter what it was it was all my fault. No matter if my dad pissed off my mom, my mom would blame it on him and says its my fault. School wasn't much better. I was always bullied when teachers weren't paying attention. Always getting picked on because I wasn't the prettiest apple on the tree. Maybe I'm an orange and all the others were apples so they looked at me weird like I did something wrong. It's been ten years. Iv been bullied every year. New words being called as time goes by and when I reached sixth grade I started doing self harm. When I reached eighth grade I started attempting suicide. When my parents weren't home I'd drink cleaners and start overdosing pills. I just wanted to leave.. I didn't want to be in this dark world anymore. I'm now in highschool... Nothing has changed. I still want to die and have many mental breakdowns. I don't tell anyone because I don't want to go to some mental hospital and be asked a million questions that are just going to make me die even more. I don't get in trouble in school and I make straight A's and B's but I still hate school. All my teachers told me I'd fail in life and wouldn't get to do what I wanted because I never did my homework but I still get good grades... I still am the highest reader in my reading class even though I hate books with a passion. People still call me names and eventually I'll end it all and kill myself, but this is my story before that day comes.