Undecided Heart

CHAPTER 4

Is this normal? Is this really true? Am I ready to face the reality?

As we were already comfortable with each other, tanggal lahat ng hiya na nararamdam ko sa kanya nuon. I already felt that I never blamed myself for loving him cause he loves me the way I do.
March 24, 2013.
It was our day. We'd been together for 6months of love that day. It was also his Graduation day. Yes. He was 4th year HS and he'll going to pursue college soon. So that day, it was a double special day for him. I bought a gift and a box of munchkin. I want to surprise him so that I could let him feel that I'm so proud that he graduated.

In the evening, I told him na lumabas ng bahay nila para ibigay ko na yung gift niya. Sumang-ayon naman siya. Kaya't nong natanggap na niya yong regalo ko sa kanya, bigla niya akong niyakap at nagpapasalamat siya ng husto sa ibinigay ko sa kanya. Makita ko lang na masaya siya ay masaya na rin ako :')

When the month of April came, it was quiet a bad month for me. We had a misunderstanding that time.. and he let go...of me..

It hurts. A lot of pain I felt. I dont know if this is normal bcs this was the first time that I got hurt bcs of love. Am I that immature enough to take it as a big deal? It's not that easy.

I kept myself busy so that I could forget him but still, it does not work. He's still stucked in my mind. So, I told myself, "Pano kaya kong makipagbalikan ako sa kanya? May pag-asa pa kaya?".

Hindi paman huli ang lahat, nagkabalikan kami before the month of April ends.

The love that we felt still remains the same.

So, as summer ends, it was back to school again. Ipinagbilin ni Reyvi sakin na, "Pakabait ka. Wag kang papadala sa mga lalaking may gusto sayo. Ako lang dapat mahal mo. Ayoko ng kahati sa pagmamahal mo."

*HABA NG HAIR ALERT*

Must be love na nga ba? Hays.

Days had passed. It feels like wala na kaming gana sa kinatayuang relasyon namin ni Reyvi. Walang maayos na communication. Palaging wala nang time sa isa't isa. Kaya't sabi ko sa sarili ko na para bang hindi na ako masaya sa piling niya. I'm trying to stay positive but the negative blocks me from it.

It was Tuesday morning. There was a boy, who were friend of mine in facebook, one of my schoolmates. He posted in facebook, and saw that I got tagged in the status. The status goes-- "Khristy! Ultimate crush ka daw ni Ron! HAHAHAHA♥".

Napatulala ako. Talaga? Eh wala naman akong kagandahan na mayron sa ibang mga babae. May notif sa friend request ko. Si Ron pala. Ron Sanchez. Inaccept ko sha. Tas nagmessage siya, edi sinabayan ko na lang din dahil parang gusto ko nang pampagoodvibes ngayon dahil nga medyo napakalungkot ko ngayon.

So, our conversation goes deeper. Nakadaming tawa ako sa mga korny lines niya. At pinasaya nya talaga ako nong time na yon. Nagconfess si Ron na may crush talaga siya sa akin.

Ano ba Ron? Pinapalito mo isip at puso ko eh..