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He was still staring at me. Has he forgotten the power of speech? Now that would be enlightening......a silent Aaron, I didn't know the world had such marvels. To be fair he didn't say much. It was just when he did his few words cut through you more than if it were a three thousand word speech. Yes! A sign of life I thought as his lips had started mouthing incomprehensible words. If he couldn't manage to say anything in the next five seconds then I will.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
I straightened up to stand tall, as I had started to lean on the door frame without noticing. "Aren't you a size for sore eyes.......come on then? Tell me I look good too, that's why you here right?" Sarcasm was dripping out of my voice. The tone didn't suit me, it sounded as though someone else was talking.
Anger flicked in his eyes. Which made the green shade of his eyes look strong enough to entrap me within, never letting me be free of its hold! Well this was better than the whole 'I can't talk because I am so shocked at how you look, when it was me who comes and knocks on your door at lunch time!'
"It's you isn't it? You're.....you're doing this to yourself?" he stuttered on his words. His arms were tightly at his sides. Aaron looked like one of those toy soldiers. So still, yet everything about him screamed anger. Seeing him like this caused feelings of utter vulnerability to ignite deep within me. I wondered if he knew how he was making me feel. As his words began to sink into my skin going even deeper until it was right down to my core could I fully contemplate what he was saying. How dare he!?
"Who do you think you are? Coming here and accusing me of things? What the hell is wrong with you retard boy, have you screwed up your life so bad you need a new project?" My voice was growing louder with each passing word. My hands griping even tighter to the door frame as my whole body was trembling I wasn't sure how longer I could stand on my own. I should close the door on his face. But as hard as I tried I couldn't bring myself to it. It was as though my body couldn't comprehend the messages my brain was sending to it. Or was it my brain that wasn't working anymore?
Aaron's face was being multiplied right in front of my eyes, my grip on the door frame loosened. I couldn't make out his expression, so I wouldn't be able to tell how he took to my little outburst. My knees weakened. Oh no. I started to cough. Hard chesty coughs were echoing through my ears. Aaron's faces began to spin in front on me just as what seemed to be six pairs of hands reaching out to grab hold of me as I lost control of everything. Too late!
I fell before his hands could engulf me into his own shield of protection. Face down onto the doorstep, cold hard stone slapped me into a world of darkness. No sights. But there were too many sounds. Suddenly I felt strong arms lift me up, they felt very familiar. My bare legs grazed against the smooth walls. Air freshener, I could smell lavender air freshener which must mean I was in the bathroom now. Sarah always made sure that it smelt of lavender just the way my mum loved it. I could feel my body being lowered onto the cold ground. My back against something warm, leaning in I realized it was Aaron's body. I had to open my eyes. I had to get out of this haze. I couldn't, I really couldn't my eyelids felt so heavy. Every inch of my body screamed in agony.
A sharp jolt of pain spread from my lungs right up to my throat. The agonizing throbbing dragged me out of my own middle world. Not quite blacked out but still not fully aware of the real world. Unknown liquid spurted out of my mouth, as my eyes focused on my surroundings I recognized the smell of the liquid. I could feel it slowly covering my lips and moving down to my chin. It felt really thick, as though it was about to soak into my skin. Sliding down my throat all the way to my chest, its slow progress sickened me. The longer it took to clothe me, the more fragile, vulnerable and naked I felt. I know now what it was. Blood. My blood.
I don't want to lose to the darkness again.....I can't. But there is no stopping the inevitable. I fought as hard as I could but my now impossibly heavy eye lids closed......
***
I woke up to the sound of my ringtone; it felt too far away, normally it was in my pocket. I needed to pick it up, but I felt so tired. Maybe I could leave it for a bit. If it's that important then they will call back. It stopped ringing after a minute. Only for it to start up again a couple of seconds later, I guess I need to get up. I reached for my left where my nightstand was. With my eyes still closed I looked for my phone blindly. I couldn't feel the smooth cold wood, I was just grabbing on to air. That's weird; okay it is defiantly time to open my eyes, as I opened them I was forced into sudden shock. The white canvas like walls had no paints or frames up. One side of the room had two large windows out looking a park. The other side had a window with draped mirrors. If my guess was right, behind those mirrors would be the reception for the department of chemical theology. Keeping my eyes closed I reached for my right side where I knew the nightstand was and tried to feel my phone. Just as I touched the plastic covering a hand went over mine and griped tightly.
"I was wondering when you would wake up Elizabeth" a deep male voice said.
I opened my eyes, I know that voice. "Dad?" I questioned the man in front of me just as my ringtone started again.
"What can I say, what can I do
This is who I am and I am hurting you
What can I say, what can I do
No matter how strong my feelings are
I always end up hurting you
Without you I keep crying
With you I am just hurting you
Without you I am dying
With you I am tearing your heart"
