H.E.L.L × Alsina Fanfic

o.n.e

I exhaled softly as my lips formed a grin, under his love. I relaxed my body into his body, making a song with his heart beat.

"You luh' me?" He stoked small sections of my hair.

I left a lingering kiss upon his A, answering his dumb question. Of course I loved him. I love him more than my existence.

---

"Vulnerable." My voice therapist spoke lowly and carefully, moving her finger with her voice for me to comprehend the word.

"V-" I inhaled frustratingly, thinking I could easily say the word similar to her.

"Take your time." She coached me.

"V-" I rolled my eyes and punctured my bottom lip with my teeth. "V-vul-" I stopped again.

"That's it."

I weakly smiled, feeling my confidence boost up. I got this.

"Vul-lner...able." My voice scratched my throat, erupting a burning sensation on the base of my throat.

My therapist clapped, congratulating me as I leaned for my water bottle. I hated this. I'm diagnosed with Laryngeal dysfunction. Laryngeal dysfunction is the abnormal adduction of the vocal cords. It wasn't a cancer nor a deadly disease, but an enormous hazard in my speech.

I've had Laryngeal dysfunction for a year now. It affects my vocal cords terribly. I can't barely speak without sounding like a throat cancer patient. I was diagnosed with this months later after fighting an upper respiratory infection.

Every week, Monday through Friday, I go to vocal therapy, praying to gain my voice back.

"Ready for the next word?" She asked me.

I took three sips from my bottle and I sigh overlaying it with a head nod.

"Pretending." She lowly spoke.

"Pr-" I slowed down and cleared my throat. I moved a strand of hair behind my ear.

I attempted to speak, but nothing came out.

"Breathe." She coached.

I look at her and furrowed my eyebrows. I sighed.

"I can't do it." I mouthed and spoke with my hands.

"You can." She mouthed back.

"Try one more time sweetie."

---

"How was therapy?" My sister Niola asked me as I walked into our dorm.

"Okay." I mouthed and used my sign language to speak.

"Hm." She hummed and leaned over the side of her bed and held up my Batman bookbag. "You have career homework and we started a new project in English, but Mrs. Rodgers said she'll give you details tomorrow."

I nodded. She threw my bag on my bed as I traveled to my dresser, placing my keys and phone on the surface of it. I dug in each draw for my desired launch-around clothes and walked into the bathroom.

I peeled myself out my clothes and grabbed a towel from the rack. I tugged my hair in a messy ponytail and started preparing my bath for myself.

Letting the hot water run, I search for my japanese cherry blossom body wash.

I opened the door, peeping my head out and knocked on the wood frame of the door.

"Hm?" Niola looked up from her book.

"Where's my body wash?"

"The mirror." She looked back down.

I mouthed 'thank you' and locked the door back.

---

I hummed the lyrics to The Crying Games as I played with my nude colored nails. I finished my homework from earlier and used the rest of my day, listening to music and vibing on my own.

The atmosphere was quiet and mellow. Niola left to a party, which left me by myself.

I'm not a party person. I'm an inside person. I don't go out as frequently as Niola or at all, except for classes and work. I was pretty okay with my demeanor of staying locked up all day. Plus college party's weren't no joke.

I paused Pandora and sat up. Cookies and ice cream.

I stood to my feet and walked into the kitchen and opened the deep freezer, digging for my strawberry and vanilla bean ice cream. I stretched to my teepee toes for the biggest bowl.

I scooped good equal amounts of strawberry ice cream and vanilla bean ice cream into my bowl. I placed the ice cream back and grabbed the jar of cookies, that sat by the side of the microwave. I took cookie by cookie, crumbling it on the top of my ice cream until I was satisfied.

I quickly moved the cookie jar back and walked to the refrigerator.

I made wiggly lines with chocolate syrup to finish off my master piece. I balanced both syrup and ice cream, walking to my bed.

I resumed Pandora, letting Oui swirl within the room.

Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah yeah.

Hey there's no we without you and I.

Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah yeah.

Hey there's no we without you and I.

Long after, sleepily placing my bowl on the nearest flat surface I fell into a comfortable slumber.