Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster: 

"Forever." she whispered, a despicable grin crossing her face. As if on cue, my baby girl began to wail. Perhaps she was having the same nightmare I was, I wouldn't doubt it. I groaned as I rolled over to check the time. 4:30 in the morning.

"Why Katie, why?" I moaned as I rolled out of bed and stumbled over to her crib on the other side of my large bedroom. I reached into the crib and she wrapped her small, chubby hand around my pinky finger. I lifted her up out of her bed and into my arms. Despite the fact that it was 4:30am I couldn't help but smile down at the little angel cradled in my arms. She peered up at me with her almond shaped green eyes, my eyes. That was one of the only ways she resembled me, other than that she looked just like her mother. Sometimes it hurt to look at her, but the feeling never lasts long, because her cute little face has a personality that resembles nothing of her mothers. I love my daughter more than I have ever, or will ever love anyone else. I swayed back and forth as she opened her tiny, toothless mouth into an O-shaped yawn. I sang to her, slowly, softly as she closed her tired eyes. As I held her small, warm body against my chest, her hand still wrapped around my finger, I pressed my lips against her smooth forehead. She had that baby smell, and after the dream I just had, I didn't want to put her back down so I lay her beside me on my bed. She lay there in her footy pajamas, sleeping so peacefully. I fell asleep beside her, with my hand on her little round belly. 

  The alarm clock blared and Kate began scream again. 

"What's wrong baby?" I asked, scooping her up and bounced her up and down in my arms. I yawned and walked into the washroom with Katie in my arms. She buried her face in my shoulder. Her soft, thick, dark hair rubbed against the scruff on my face. "I love you." I whispered into her delicate round ear. I fastened her into the carseat set up in the bathroom so I could get ready but still keep an eye on her. I did my best to shower with one arm since Katie insisted on bawling her eyes out the minute I turned the water on, so she squeezed my finger until I came out. I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth then got her bottle ready. As soon as I got into the kitchen I saw the doctors appointment written on the little white bored attached to the front of the fridge. 

"Damn it!" I had completely forgotten until now and we needed to be there in an hour. I scrambled to get Katie's bottle ready. The water was bowling so I reached into the cupboard to grab her bottle, knocking down a mug. I fumbled to catch it before it hit the ground, but failed miserably. It hit the ground with a sharp SMASH! I cursed as it exploded into a thousand ceramic shards. Funny how everything complicates its self when you're in a rush. I crouched down and began picking up the larger shards. This was Katie's mother's mug. I don't know why it was still here or why I hadn't noticed it before now. I should have smashed it months ago. She left us. Promised forever then ran away with another guy. I'm not sure what kind of mother leaves her two month old daughter with nothing but an incompetent father, but she had and it ruined everything. Katie had not ruined anything though. I will never regret the existence of Katie, but I do however regret who brought her into this world. 

  When everything was cleaned up I held my daughter in my arms and fed her her bottle. About a half an hour later, I rushed to change her diaper and get her dressed, then I packed her bag up and rushed to the doctors office for her checkup. A nurse I had never seen before called Katie's name and led me into a room where she would weigh and measure her. This nurse looked to be in her mid twenties, and she was gorgeous. Dark hair pulled back into a lose ponytail, high cheekbones and a prefect nose and deep blue eyes. Everyone describes beautiful blue eyes like the sea, and I hate to use the corny comparison but these really were. Specks of green and hazel, they were like nothing I had ever seen before; but unlike my days when I was young and stupid I was afraid of drowning in the sea that was dragging me in, quicker and quicker as she took my baby from my arms and lay her down on the scale in front of us. As she set up the scale, the nurse introduced herself.