BUM-ASS

Profuckinglogue

Please don't read. This is my brain. I will be telling you my story.

Warning: I have no skills in writing. Save your life and go read your vampire fanficts you dipshit.

Welcome to my shitty bum-ass life. Also, I'm dead. You're looking inside my head. People got into my head and decided it's a good idea to write a book about what I thought. Hoe.

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Hey bitch.

Don't be a bitch. If you're expecting this book to be fully grammatically correct, then this is not the book that you're looking for. However, if you're looking for a book that will save your life, then this is your book.

Just kidding, sorry to keep your hopes up.

This book sucks so much ass, its filthy. This book isn't even that entertaining. There's no plot. There's no story. There's no twist. None of that crap. Instead I'm letting you read a book full of shit. Hopefully you'll like it because I didn't work hard enough to even make this book interesting. Also you're probably bored like I do which makes a lot of sense that you're reading this right now. Stop wasting your time and go read an actual book. Do you even have friends?

Maybe not. You're probably alone. In your room, looking for something good to read. And ohh you discover this shit. Good job mate. You're a bitch

Okay I'm sorry for all the curse words. If you can't handle it then go talk to your parents. Tell them you love them. Then after that look for a sharp knife. Then look back at how shitty your life is then after all that make sure you end your life. END IT. I have a tip for you. Make sure to cut your wrist upwards, its more effective than cutting it horizontally. Cut upwards till you reach your heart. Finish it off by stabbing your heart. You vampire.

Bitch.

DAY ONE

I. FUCKING. HATE. FEMINIST.

Especially when they are fat. And whiny. Oh my privilege omg you're so mean. DICKWAND.
Horrible day, let's move on.

DAY TWO

I wonder how it feels to have a pussy. Never mind I don't want to. It'll probably sucks so much ass. I love ass though, no lie. Especially the thick ones. Those are the best. Anyways this is how my day went.

Woke up.

Okay let me tell you something funny. Girls have this thing called morning routines. It's fucking annoying. Search it up on YouTube. You'll see what I mean.

They be like "Hey Guys, it's me (insert a bitch name)! Since lots of you guys requested it, Ill be doing my morning routine."

SHUT

THE