The Hospital Room (Cashley & Jindy)

Chapter 11

~CC's POV~

I was still all alone in my room, but I'd been moved to a different room now as I was proving myself to be not so difficult. It was like a cell, but I had a TV and Ashley was allowed to come and go as he pleased, as long as the door was locked when he left the room. That was all I knew.

He'd been telling me all about everything that was going on in the room, we'd sit and discuss random things, laughing and joking. I loved being near him, he made me feel at least a little bit sane. And he didn't mind when I didn't feel like talking, he'd just sit with me to keep me company instead. It was nice, just having someone that understood for once, instead of calling me crazy and leaving me all by myself.

I really missed my parents, they hadn't come to visit, but I know that my mum is very busy, she had 2 jobs when I came to the hospital, my dad was away in another country anyways. I think the reason they needed me to come here was to help me try and... deal with what I saw and heard, and the fact that they couldn't always be there for me like I needed, but the doctors and nurses were supposed to be there for my needs.

Of course we'd discussed going to a literal mental hospital, but I didn't want that, the thought of that scared me. But I guess this is no different, it just lets me breathe a little more freely, luckily. But maybe a mental hospital would be better for me. I don't even know anymore. I'm just going with what I have to, no point fighting it.

The doctors were considering letting me back in with everyone else in the group because of the progress I'd made. They'd found the medicine that worked best for me, it helped to make the sightings few and far between, and I didn't hear things as often, which was really good. I was happy with it- it didn't make me feel crappy, it was just right for me.

I was also doing better around people now, which I was really happy about, I was glad that I was doing so much better, that meant within the 2 weeks, if I continued to get better they could consider releasing me back out into the real world, that would be exciting. Of course I'd have to come back so they could question me about daily experiences, but I didn't mind, I wanted to get back to school so I could finish all of my courses and get on with my life.

Only thing about leaving was maybe that meant leaving Ashley behind- which I really didn't want to do. He was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him, honestly. He helped me to control myself, he'd talk to me about what I saw and heard, helped me decipher what it meant. Not to mention the fact that he was my boyfriend and we both liked each other a lot. I can't tell if it's love or not, but all I know is that whenever I see him, let alone think about him, my heart feels like it's about to burst and my soul lights up like a fire. I also sometimes got nervous about what he thought about me. But, he always congratulated me on progress and told me how gorgeous I was... and he'd play with my hair, kiss me, cuddle me, hold me. He always made me feel better, just by being there for me. That was a lot of affection. Maybe it is love...

I always dreamed about what I'd do when I get out of hospital and finish school. I plan to still be with Ashley, I want to join a band, get tattoos and become famous. That would be amazing, it would be a wish come true, I just hope this becomes reality and that my mental illness doesn't hold me back from my dreams. Actually, I won't let it, I'll make sure it doesn't. I can't let being schizophrenic get in the way of what I want to do in life, I'm going to beat it and live with it, let it help me accomplish what I want to in life.

Ashley was supposed to be here by this time, but he wasn't. Not yet and I'm not sure why... I do miss him, I feel kind of lonely, the walls in this room are white and dull, but I did have the television program 'Friends' on the TV so that provided something to do while I waited on him coming to visit me.