I smiled through the tears, God. You were absolutely incredible in every way. I truly believe you were my soul mate and that you’re love was what kept me grounded, sane, and able to cope with fame. That summer was the beginning of the best years of my life. That summer I learned that your favourite colour was Indigo, not blue, but indigo. You’re life’s dream was to travel the world and to see all the great beauty that the world has to offer. You had to wear glasses but you were embarrassed about them because you thought they looked nerdy. I also learned that you were a dog person, your favourite food strawberry rhubarb pie. You were scared of growing up and you loved to read. The only thing that was significantly different between us was our reading patterns. I, of course didn’t like to read, however, you would devour a book in less than a day. I would see you smile, laugh, cry, or throw it across the room but it always made me wonder how a book could evoke such strong emotions.
For the life of me I could never begin to comprehend what went on in that beautiful head of yours. Covered by your ink black hair, there was swirl of thoughts, of beauty and I’m sure, that were more confusing than the knots in my headphones. You saw the world differently. Maybe it was because you were an artist, so you appreciated the colour and the beauty of something as simple as a tree moving in the breeze or maybe it was because you read so much. Maybe that was why, those books sparked ideas in your head and made you ponder that thought for hours. You would try talking it out to me; I could see the passion in your eyes. The way they would sparkle when you were onto something or the way you would talk faster and faster the more excited you got. I would nod my head and agree when the time was right, but more than anything I watched the passion in you and the beauty that shone through. The tears leaked from my eyes, in huge droplets as I remembered vividly how beautiful you were. The memories were so real sometimes, it was as if I could reach out and touch you because I could picture you that clearly. You weren’t just physically beautiful but you were beautiful emotionally, and spiritually. I smiled through the tears and tilted my head to stare at your stone, the sun catching the end of my now greying hair.
“Hey Jo, do you remember when you met the boys...?” I chuckled to myself at the memory and I hoped you were laughing wherever you were.
“You look fine! Stop worrying!” I kissed the top of your head in urge to calm you down but you were still so nervous.
“What if they don’t like me? There like brothers to you Louis! It’s not like meeting your parents because they knew me before we were dating but if they don’t like me... God. They could make your life a living hell...” You babbled on and on about your worries.
“Jo. Listen to me. They’ll love you, just like I love you. Well not that much because I don’t think they’re capable of that much love. But point being is that they’ll accept you just like we’ve accepted Dani and Perrie.” I tried to soothe you, my hand running up your arm. You took a deep breath and nodded your head.
“Oh shoot, am I meeting the girls too?” You said, panic striking your face.
“They may be there, it depends if they boys brought them or not,” I laughed. “You’ll be fine. You may get along better with them than the boys, who knows?” I added.
“What if they hate me because they think I’m replacing El or something?” I pulled you in tight for a hug. You wrapped your arms around my waist and hugged me back.
“You are not replacing Eleanor. I promise. Dani and Perrie aren’t like that either, they’ll love you.” I said kissing the top of your head. You didn’t let go of me either, and I clung to you for a while longer before you pulled away. I held you at arm’s length and smiled. “Ready, love?”
