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       Ok its been 3 months since Gracie and I have broken up, at first I felt nothing, just a little emptiness that I tried to ignore. at night, that's when it hit me, the loneliness eating me whole, the loneliness holding my hand through out the day. Gracie and I were dating for almost 10 months, then we realized how toxic our relationship was to begin with, we came from two totally different families and back grounds, I guess that's why we were always so interested with each other.

       Three months have passed and the emptiness turns into depression and depression turns into crying myself to sleep every night, if I sleep at all. It lead to endless nights of crying and blood as the blade kisses a new spot of my thigh.

       As the tears roll down my eyes I realized what I've been missing, I've been missing her, I've been missing her hugs, her kisses, her smile, and her beautiful eyes. I watch a movie play behind my eyelids, causing me to cry even more.

       She's the one that got away, the one that I will never ever lose feelings for, I just miss her. I regret doing the things I did it hurt her like I did.

       Our relationship was toxic from day one ,but we made it work for the longest time ,but we both realized what we have caused for each other.

       We don't talk anymore and it kills me inside. I know that we'll just hurt each other again but I loved the pain, I loved what she made me feel, I loved the tears she made me cry because it let me know that i'm only human. she taught me that love comes with pain, I was willing to go through that pain for her and I still am.....as you can see I cry every night because of those memories playing in my head. In this silence that is always so very violent. 

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