I kept shifting uncomfortably in place, my toes were getting numb and I don't remember how long I had been standing there. Jamie was standing next to me, and we were on the side of the stage where Ellie was performing. I had just been near LA so I decided to drop in on her concert. I don't know why I was getting so nervous but I just was excited to suprise her at the same time. It had been probably over a year that I had seen her and I just kept thinking of what Ellie might say when she would see me after the show.
"Marina," Jamie had cupped his hands over my ear so I could hear him over the deafening music. "Do you need a drink?" He was shouting but I still barely heard him. I just nodded quickly and shouted back "Anything with alchohol please!" He laughed at me and ran his fingers quickly through his hair before dissapearing behind the stage.
I had my eyes locked on Ellie the entire time, the way she was letting the music move her body and the whole thing seemed very naturally..sexual. The way she continued to gyrate her hips with almost every song and seemed to be completely enveloped in the music. But her voice was so beautiful and raw I felt like I never was going to be able to draw my attention away ever again.
I felt a cool spill of drink run down my arm and I jerked out of my trance. Jamie had tapped the glass on my arm to get my attention but had spilt half of it on me. I laughed harder than expected and shook my arm to get the alchohol off. I saw Jamie say sorry but couldn't hear it. Ellie's voice was drawing me back in and I felt chills running up my back.
My eyes easily adjusted back on her and I felt my eyes continue to trace every move she made. Her hair flips had me even more drawn in, feeling every beat and loving it. I realized it was Lights playing so the show would be over quite soon. My stomach dropped a little, knowing that I would be talking to her in a bit. I felt like I was going to be sick.
She finished the song and I saw her eyes slowly move over to where Jamie and I were standing. Her eyes lingered a little on me and lit up and her mouth dropped a little before Chris grabbed her so they could do a quick bow. She was more than eager to finish it up and hurried over to us.
"MARINA!!" Ellie was basically screeching and so was I. "ELLIE!!" She had the goofiest smile across her face and quickly jumped on me. We kind of rocked back and forth in this sweaty hug just gripping each other tightly and forgetting that Jamie was still standing there. The rocking stopped and I buried my head in her sweat soaked hair. And I could barely hear her say "I missed you way too much," Somehow my smile got bigger and we broke the hug and kept contact with our arms around each others shoulders.
"So how have you been?!" I was eager to ask her every possible question that came into my mind, but I also didn't wanna seem desperate. We started to walk towards the dressing rooms and she nodded her head, "Good! The tour's been great and everything is just real great! Oh Marina I'm so glad you're here, I really am." Ellie looked over to me again and still had the goofy smile on her face.
She looked so adorable, even though she looked tired and sweaty, she still had a glow about her. We talked about my last tour and all the things that have been happening with her new album release. Before I realized we were sitting in her dressing room and she was downing a water while I downed another vodka. "I'll shower and be right out, ok? We can go grab something to eat if you want, just relax." She lightly laughed, stared at me for a bit and dissapeared into the bathroom.
I felt weird, maybe it was the excessive alchohol I had just drank but I felt funny. Like I was getting a rush of emotions all at once. Could I be pmsing? Oh god, what if I was. No couldn't be, I just finished last week.
Ellie. It was starting to hit me. I wanted Ellie. What the hell was happening to me. This hadn't happened before. I wasn't gay was I? I had Matthew and we had a pretty good relationship even though he didn't like me bringing my kindle everywhere with me. I got him, he got me, its all good.
My mind kept going back to Ellie, oh god I wanted to fuck her. Get all nitty gritty and go at it.
What no, we had been great friends for years, I wasn't about to ruin this. But what if she wanted me back.
My mind kept going back and forth deciding what exactly I was feeling. I didn't notice Ellie was standing in the bathroom doorway with just her towel on, staring at me.
"Marina?" I slowly turned my head so I could see her full on. Her blonde wet hair was softly resting on her shoulders and she looked like she was trying to figure me out. "Are you ok?" She didn't seemed worried, just curious as to what I might be thinking. "Yeah, I'm fine, really." I forced out a small laugh and turned to drink the vodka out of the bottle. I felt the burn for a few seconds in my throat and looked back to Ellie.
She was now standing right in front of me.
"H-How are you and Jeremy?" I asked the first question that popped into my jumlbed train of thought. She moved a little closer and looked looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "Pretty good, but he doesn't really concern me at the moment."
Oh no.
