Delusion ☓ SEVENTEEN Dino

Prologue

*warning* weird language
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This is it....

I can't take it anymore....

The sound of the ambulance was still ringing in my head, I looked in the mirror to face someone.. someone I didn't know with a mixture of many feelings all in one expression, most of it was hate, disgust, devastation, and a bit of something I couldn't point out....
helplessness, I could feel it calling out for help.

And that. Was the time. I knew. I knew it well.

It felt as if I was falling... slowly... slowly... without knowing how far it'll be till it's over

Haesoek-ah... where are you?

It's always just the same returning to the same place as my same depressed self,i feel like I'm loosing all my strength, why am I even alive right now, this is all so stupid, shit like people will think I was a really weak person and shit. I never cared while alive, why would I alter I die

I used to be a happier person, what happened to the one who cared about everyone around her, and right now I'm so confused between killing myself and killing everyone else around. It's all so sad, it's almost funny.

I need help but at the same time I don't want to get any, I'm so freaking screwed up, I almost don't recognise myself when I look in the sometimes

I picked up the knife. This is it... the end of all the pain, I won't have to face myself in the mirror with the same hate ever again.

The knife slowly touched the nape of my neck slowly sli-

*tring*

The bell rang

"Aah what the fuck do these people want from me, I'm seriously not opening the door you can just slam it down if you want there's no way that gate is opening, you hear me? Really these people"

*a few seconds and swears later*

I slowly opened the door to a boy somewhere around my age with a small box in his hands

"Anyeonghaseyo, I'm Lee Chan, I just moved two rooms away, I hope that we can be friends"

I forced a fake smile on my face and I opened the door for him to come in, he awkwardly walked in, and I awkwardly closed the door pretending as if I wasn't just slicing my head off a minute ago.

"Would you like something chan? I'm sorry can I call you that?"

"Sure." He said and smiled like he meant it, wait how does one smile like they mean to like that's tota-

"Umm... sorry I didn't introduce myself properly, I'm Lee Chan, born 11th Feb 1999, I just moved here in apartment no. 007, I live by myself, I'm currently studying in haboya boys high school, nice to meet you."

"haboya boys high school? Never heard of it before, is it nearby?"

"No I haven't changed it since I moved I plan on doing it after finishing the year."

"Ohhh.. well it's my turn I guess, okay, I'm kim haejin, born 4th match 1999, I live with..... my dog, name muffin, born 18 Jan 2012" how could I forget about muffin, what would've happened to him if I just died? Gosh how could I forget to leave him by aunt sen

"Ummn.. haejin, are you okay?"

"What? Oh I'm fine just... nothing, ummn where was I? Oh right, I study in korean high school of arts, nice to meet you"

He stared at me for a while before I couldn't look him straight in the eye and looked away slightly tucking a strand of hair behind my ear

"Ah right, I brought rice cakes." He said handing me the box currently in his hands

"Oh, you didn't need to."

"No, I made them it would make me happy if you enjoy them."

"Really? Then I would love to have them, thank you chan."

"It's okay, if you like them you can let me know, I wouldn't mind making more anytime." He said and looked down at his watch.

"It's kinda late, I should be going I guess." He said and stood up.

I also stood up and walked him to the door.

"So, goodnight haejin"

"Goodnight chan" I said and smiled, surprisingly not a fake one

He walked out and I closed the door.

I walked back into the bathroom, I guess it wasn't meant again, I said and looked at the blade lying on the floor...

I guess I'll just cry myself to sleep again. *sigh*

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