But I Love You... Don't Make Me Wait [3]

Trying to keep the updates coming, sorry they're coming in such a slow trickle .

Hope you enjoy, let me know. Xx

I was surrounded by bodies... small bodies, large bodies, hard, soft, all pressed together so tightly that we had become one writhing mass of flesh. It was suffocating.

At first my night out had felt like an escape, but after being approached by most of the guys in the club and having had what was probably a bit too much to drink, my head was beginning to throb and spin uncomfortably. Dancing had been fun at first too, it was liberating to sway and roll my hips with no inhibitions (the absence of the latter resulting from the drinking), but soon the dance floor became too crowded, most of them sleazy guys who's took liberties where they weren't welcome. I'd forgotten how sleazy clubs could be; if you weren't with someone when you came the guys would vie for your attention to make sure you left with someone. Doesn't anyone just go out to dance these days? It was a bit hypocritical of me to judge them really - I'd gone down that road... for all the wrong reasons. But I didn't want to think about the reason that Rob had probably just walked out of my life for good. Oh god. My sob would have been audible if the music wasn't drowning out every other sound. All of a sudden I felt like I couldn't breathe - I had to get out of here.

I pushed through the mass of grinding bodies, unceremoniously pushing people out of my way as fast as I could. One of the guys caught my arm and tried to pull me back to him, but I ripped my arm out of his reach and pushed past the last person between me and the stairs. I climbed away from the dancers and stopped at the top of the stairs, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Calm, stay calm... I opened my eyes.

Oh no - not now! Please no! I was looking at the bar - into one rather shocked looking face in particular - Rob's face.

Fuck, get yourself out of here Jess! I screamed internally. But I couldn't move yet. That was going to have to change quickly, because Rob was slowly pushing himself off the bar and beginning to make his way across the room to where I stood. He no longer looked surprised, his gorgeous features were shrouded in anger and his jaw was set in a way that looked like he was trying hard to control his expression.

Fuck that. I'm allowed a night out - he has not right to make me feel bad for this. And he's the one who walked out - why should I have to talk to him now?

I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin defiantly, and then I promptly turned and started walking away. I probably should have known Rob wasn't going to just shrug and turn back around.

I'd only taken about five steps when I felt his large, strong hand close around my upper arm. He spun me to face him looking less than impressed.

'What are you doing here?' he practically growled.

I could tell he was trying to keep his voice under control and his tightly clenched jaw told me just how bad this conversation was going to be.

'What does it matter to you?' I shot back, sounding more like a petulant child than I would have liked.

'You're under age, you're not supposed to be here.' he responded angrily.

That was a slap in the face.

'Fuck you!' I shouted at him as I tried to turn away. The hot tears stinging in my eyes were threatening to spill over and I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of seeing me cry over him.

But of course, he just grabbed my arm and pulled me around to face him again.

'I meant you're too young to be here. It's dangerous.' He said sounding frustrated.

'I am SO over you telling me what I'm not old enough to do - it pissed me off enough when it was something you were partially involved in, but this has nothing to do with you and I don't really give a fuck what you think!' It was rude, but I was drunk and this was not a topic I was ever able to handle without getting emotional.

'Partially involved?!' he yelled. 'I was only partially involved in deciding when we were going to have sex?!'

I would have been thankful for the volume of the music if I had been able to think about anything else.

'No you weren't partially involved - you were the only one involved! You decided no. no compromises, no conversation, just no.'

'You're too young.' Rob managed to get out through his gritting teeth.

'Well other people disagreed.' I shot back without thinking.

Rob flinched like I'd hit him, then his face grew darker. I'd never seen him so angry.

'Well if you're looking for a fuck buddy I'm sure you'd have no trouble finding one in here tonight dressed like that!' Rob all but spat back at me.

I felt like he'd winded me. I couldn't believe he'd just said that - that's not what I wanted from him, to be fuck buddies. I'd told him I loved him for fucks sake, that's what people do when they're in love - they want each other. All I'd done was want him.

The tears started spilling down my cheeks as I backed away from Rob. His breathing was less laboured and his face was rapidly losing all the anger it had had before. He looked like he wanted to suck his words back.

I was really crying now. For the things in my past, for what had happened with Rob, for the fact that this was it - the end... for the fact that I loved him so much it hurt.

'I can't do this -' I sobbed. Then I turned and ran, heels and all, back towards the dance floor - or more specifically, the exit on the other side. He didn't catch me this time.

'Jess -' I could just hear Rob yelling over the din. I didn't stop.

Once again I was pushing my way through the swarm of sweaty bodies and couples pressing their bodies together desperately. I just dried harder.

'Hey what's wrong babe?' a familiar guy called, the one who had grabbed my arm earlier, but I was at the door and I pushed I open.

The sharpness of the cold hit me like ice water as I stumbled into the dark alley.

I was walking unsteadily over the cobbled road towards the opening of the ally when I heard the exit door open. I sped up, but didn't turn around, thinking it was Rob.

The footsteps behind me were getting closer and I was only about a third of the way down the alley. I started to run.

So did the person behind me. I no longer thought it was Rob.

I chanced a glance over my shoulder. It was the guy from the club who had grabbed my arm.

At that moment I tripped and fell to the ground - hard.

I was still lying on the ground when the guy jumped on top of me. I screamed, but the sound was cut off quickly by his hand. I kept trying to scream.

I was trying to shake him off me.

He seemed impatient as he struggled to roll me onto my back. My legs and arms were lashing out, hoping to come in contact with some part of his body - cause him pain. Any way I could.

Suddenly he brought his free hand down onto my cheek, slapping my so hard I thought he'd split the skin.