Why couldn't love be like the fairy tales, the beautiful tales my mother told me before bed, why couldn't it be that easy? Now I'm stuck, unaware of what to do, because of one little thing, a horrible, horrible mistake. Was I ever gonna let myself get up and be strong? Was I ever gonna find another one. There was no one like him, he was my one and only, my Prince Charming why did this have to happen?
I shouldn't have let him do it, now I'm stuck in a cell for the rest of my life, wondering how he got away, wondering how I could be so... Vulnerable. The light doesn't shine in here, sort of like the light to my soul. Was he here, rotting his life away in the rusty cell of prison? Or was he finding some one new and repeating all of his same, horrid mistakes.
I am writing this in my only thing I brought, the only thing they let me bring. The pages on this book are bent from the many years, and the first entries of when we first met, when I was so naive when I was only sixteen years old. I shouldn't have let him take advantage of me. I shouldn't let him be the only key to my thoughts. I shouldn't let him run my world. But I can't help it, why did he have to be so charming? And pull me in to his horrifying mistakes.
I am now twenty three and regretting life itself, could life ever change? That's my question every day. If I ever get out of this horrible place, I don't even know what I would do, because even if I am not in her physically my brain will always be in a jail of its own hatred and its own guilt and regret. Someday my life has to change. But will it ever?
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Stuck With Myself
Fanfictionguilt ɡilt/ noun 1. the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime. "it is the duty of the prosecution to prove the prisoner's guilt" synonyms: culpability, guiltiness, blameworthiness;
