The set up

Every night as I try going to sleep I get flashbacks about when I was being abused and raped by my own father. They say to watch who you keep around you but I didn't know it meant for your parents also.

I was only 13 when my father had beaten me and force me to have sex with him. The thing was my parents were the ones who set it up. My mother didn't mean to harm me , she did what she thought was right.

My mother was poor and did all that she can to make sure that we was able to survive in this cold world , but was it worth putting your me in a situation like that?

When I say she would do anything I mean ANYTHING to make sure we had what we needed.

I'm Emily Russell and I lived with my mother. My father left her to be with someone with 'class' he say. My mother and I was poor but she did all that she can to make sure we was able to live.

I often see my father from time to time. When they was together. My mom depended on him for alot of things such food , shelter , and bills. My mother hardly had to work.

Things were great until they broken up. My mom started raising me on her own. My dad would pass by sometimes to help us a little like every two months.

Everyday my mom would call him up not only asking but begging that he would come back. The sad part to me is he left without telling me why.

When my father comes to see me he never looks at my mother they never spoke. You can feel the emotion In the air. It was like sorrow and hate put together.

I hated it! Every time I ask what's going on between them she tells me not to worry.

My dad was tall with a bald head with a tattoo of a spider that filled his whole head. He has eyes like the ocean and he was also very skinny.

My mother is short like me. She has long blond hair that reaches the middle of her back. She has green eyes. Most people say I look like my mother,but I don't see it.

After awhile of asking my mother what was going on I stopped. I stopped cause she would never tell me. One day she had got a phone call while we was in the kitchen , it was my father.

She left out of the kitchen because she doesn't like when I hear her begging for a man. After about twenty minutes I heard the phone being tossed against the wall.

My mother came back in the kitchen and she was a little red in the face. "What did he say?" I asked. "Don't worry honey." She replied. I didn't bother to ask again but I hope she was alright.

She never talk about it with me and every time she would say don't worry it makes me more worried. Wouldn't you want to know why your parents separated? I know I do.

My mom had just got done cooking. We ate and then went to sleep. It was about 3:30am when I woke up out of my sleep because I heard yelling.

I got out of my bed and walked out of my room slowly. It was my mom and dad arguing. I cracked my door a little so I can hear what they were saying better. "I'm tired of doing this." " Just give us some more money please." "This is the last time." I ran towards my bed and acted like I was asleep because my mom was heading in my room. She checked on me for about two minutes then closed my room door.

I didn't get any sleep at all that night. All I can think of them not getting alone and my mom crying her eyes out. I was just hoping that whatever it is they find a way to fix it because my mom really needs him. Not only for her but for us.