Emily's Diaries

2/6/16

I haven't written anything in awhile. Writer's block, I guess. I haven't had much inspiration for things, lately. A lot's happened that I can't explain.

Life just sucks. You've got school. Homework. Parents. Friends. Crushes. People who you don't even know who hate you. Sometimes it feels like society is against you. Sometimes you feel alone. You feel as if nobody cares, even though people do.

I wish real life was as simple as it was online. I wish everyone could be happy and get along. I wish popularity and hatred didn't exist. There wouldn't be murderers. There wouldn't be criminals. There wouldn't be terrorists. We wouldn't hear bad news at all.

I wish there was a cure for cancer. I wish the schools wouldn't waste as much on sports and put effort into things like Drama, Music, Arts, etc. I wish a lot of things. I wish I hadn't met some people, others I wish I had.

I wish I could go back in time and change myself. Be the person everyone wants me to be. The one who doesn't sit in a corner and write. The one who's not afraid to speak up. The one who could kick someone's ass. The one who didn't like a certain band because it could make everyone hate her in the future...

I want my life to be different.. I want myself to be different.. But I can't change who I am. What I am... I am who I am. I shouldn't have to change for anybody. I didn't choose my body, but I chose my interests. If people don't appreciate who I was and who I am, today, then they need to move on with their lives.

I'm hurt by everything. Not from people making it difficult for me, but for me being hard on myself. It results in me breaking down and wanting to be homeschooled. We've thought it over. I just haven't decided, yet. It's getting to that point, though. People don't want me there and I don't want to be there, so why should I be there? If stuff gets worse, then bye, bye public school.

There's so much more I wish I could say, but I can't... I can't express what's happening in words. Mom told me to write it down, but I just... Can't...

Sorry for the depressing shit that you all don't care about and will probably laugh at...

Until next time...

~Emily