BUM-ASS

DatCog

Finally me and my sister got our asses home. At last, I can go and sit around and just relax after that horrible day today. My legs became noodles from all that walking and my skin is crusty from the fucking sun. Whenever we get home, me and my sister like to play with our pets. We love them so very much. Well my sister does. I fucking hate those things. They're like the cancer of the world. But I love them anyways, not really.

We have a dog.

Her name is Bitch.

My parents doesn't really give a fuck. They couldn't care less about me and my sister so why would they care about me naming my dog Bitch. They don't care about anything. Aside from their job. Fuck, I got emotional there for a quick second. Fuck you for reading that. Forgive me, it wont happen again. Being emotional is only for the weak, beta male species that consider themselves a feminist. If you ever catch me being emotional again please don't hesitate to end my life. Or your life, if you ever get emotional. Remember: Cut your wrist upwards not horizontally. It works better. As I was saying, I named my dog Bitch for a reason. I mean, I just didn't named it Bitch because it sounded "funny" or because "I'm clever like that" Hell No. I hate when people think they are funny but they are actually pussybitchassniggadickjizz. Or as I call it P.B.and.J. Fuck me that was lame. See that? that was an example of a pussybitchassniggadickjizz joke. We'll save that topic some other time because I could go on until the end of times when black holes sucks everything in the universe. And also my dick. I'd love to get my dick sucked.

Anyways, I named her Bitch because she acts like a little bitch. Like this one time where I decided to bring her out with my dad for a car ride. She was a puppy back then so I was like "Hmmm why not show her around town, it'll be great". At first she was enjoying it. Sticking her tongue out and shit. She looks very energetic. I swear any little fucking things makes this bitch very amused. After about 5 minutes of fucking around she finally slowed down. Then all of a sudden this bitch started to rest in my thighs. I was like "Awwwh that's cute. She got a little tired". Guess fucking what happens next. This little bitch started puking all over my fucking crotch. Near my dick man. My dick was so wet it looked like it came outta deep sea exploration with all the seaweed and whale carcasses lookin typa shit in that pile of puke. My initial reaction was maybe there was a way to clean it up without actually telling my dad that she puked. He would get so pissed. Plus he's driving. Don't ever distract a driver. Its dangerous.

So my game plan was to clean it all up without letting him know that she actually puked. I was at the backseat by the way, if you're dumbass brain is wondering. Let me tell you something. It's harder that I thought man. The fucking stench was so strong that my dad smelled it within 2 seconds after the puking incident. So I gotta scratch my plan and come up with something to say. This is what came out of my mouth at that moment.

"Hey Dad I think the dog is pregnant, she just puked out of nowhere. Maybe she's sick too"

"Maybe she's sick of you being a fucking dumbass. That's a fucking puppy. I told you not to bring her in for a ride because shit like this will happen." my Dad said. He is not happy at all.

Come to think of it, that's probably one of the dumbest shit I've ever said in my lifetime. And I said a lot of dumb shit. It's definitely on my top ten list.

Note to self: Don't overfed a puppy and take her on a car ride because shit will happen. Also you'll end up with a wet slimy dick.