-Simon's P.O.V-
"You're worthless"
"No one even cares"
"You'd be better off dead"
"Why are you still here?"
"Everybody hates you"
"You're disgusting"
"No one will ever love you"
These were just some of the thoughts that went through my head everyday. It's an endless cycle and to be honest, I think it'll always stay that way. Nobody cares, why would they? Everyone leaves after they see the real me. The real me is horrible and not even I like to see me.
I don't like to see my fake self either. I'm still an ugly piece of crap. To put it simply, I hate myself. Every single part of my body. I literally don't think there's a part of me that I can't find a fault with. It's a shame really..
My thoughts are cut short when I'm alerted with the sound of my phone dinging. Literally no one texts me, this is strange. I look down to see it's from an unknown number, which makes me very skeptical on whether to open it or not. But I do anyway and it says..
"Why haven't you killed yourself yet? You might as well."
Wow I never thought they would be able to get my number. I haven't given it to anyone at school so how could they have possibly gotten it? Wait there is one person...
I instantly stand up from my comfy position on the sofa. As I head towards the door I slip on my shoes and throw on a jacket before heading out. My sights are set on one place and one place only.
When I get there I don't even knock on the door, I just barge straight in. Disbelief and shock are the only emotions I'm feeling right now. But then I see his face, and anger takes over my whole body.
"I can't believe you" I speak up.
He turns around, a surprised look on his face.
"What have I done?" He asks.
"You know exactly what you've done! You gave my number to people at school.. And I hate you so much for that." I speak with pure venom leaking from my words.
"Simon I don't know what you're talking about." He stands up from his arm chair and reaches out to touch my arm. I flinch away..
"Don't you dare touch me! I know it was you. Nobody else in the damn school has my number and you know that."
"Si-" He begins before I cut him off.
"No Ethan, I can't forgive you for this." The sound of his name coming from my mouth sends shivers down my spines, shivers of disgust.
"Please hear me out.."
"Go on then, what pathetic excuse have you got?"
I'm so angry at this point, to be honest I'm surprised I haven't punched him yet.
"I-" he stutters but I quickly interrupt.
"You what Ethan? Gave my number out to people who wish death upon me? Who hate my guts? Who have ruined my life?"
"Yes Simon, and I'm so so sorry like you don't even understand."
"Sorry? You really think sorry is going to cut it Ethan?"
"No but let me help."
"And how do you plan on doing that?"
"I don't know, but I'll find a way."
"No." He's making me beyond angry now.
"What do you mean, no?"
"Isn't it obvious? You've ruined everything for me! There is nothing that you can do that'll fix this. You haven't even got a good enough excuse as to why you did this in the first place."
Ethan sighs and looks up into my eyes, I can see he's on the verge of tears but I couldn't care one bit.
"Someone asked for your number and said it was okay because you guys were cool." At this point he's now looking away, too embarrassed to look into my eyes anymore.
"And who may this be?"
"Erm... Jide" he mumbles the last part so it's only just audible.
"As in Olajide Olatunji?"
He nods.
"Are you a complete idiot? You know the past between me and him! I can't even believe you."
I can't bare to hear another word come from his mouth so I storm out before he can respond.
At this point, I have no idea where I'm going to go but I just keep walking. I'm in such a state that I can hardly see through the tears. I know I can't go home because my parents will see me in this state and won't let me be alone until I tell them what's wrong.
You see, my parents have no idea that I feel the way I do about myself. Neither do they know about how everyone treats me at school. I don't intend on them finding out either. They are normally away working for the family business, but this week they're at home.
All I have to do is keep my emotions to myself for a couple more days and then they'll be going away for three months to do some trading business across Asia. Then I'll be home alone and have no fear of anyone catching me upset.
I'm so immersed in my own thoughts that I don't watch where I'm going and crash straight into someone. They send me flying and I fall back onto the pavement. I feel so weak that I don't even have the power in me to stand myself up. So I just sit there and cry.
The stranger, who had previously conveyed their apologies in panic, crouches down to my level. He is obviously concerned at the state I'm in. I just cry even harder, this is so embarrassing.
"Hey man, are you okay? I am really sorry."
I look up to see a boy around my age, so roughly 17. He has very dark hair, almost jet black and almost a full beard which is very impressive.
"Don't worry man, I'm physically fine. It's not you that's caused me to be in the state." I say, adding a very sad and dry chuckle to the end.
"What's up? Something really bad must've happened for you to be like this, no offence."
I ponder on what to tell him but he quickly cuts in before I decide.
"Sorry I'm being nosy, please tell me if you want me to leave." He adds with a nervous tone.
"No it's fine, but lets get off of the floor before we carry on."
