The Journal of the Asylum Girl

The Beginning

This is journal belongs to; Viktoriya Nikolai

When I was a little girl, around six years old I think, my father took me to the circus for my birthday. I had been asking mother to take me there after I had seen a commercial for it on the TV one night after doing my homework. Every time I had asked her she said 'maybe sweetheart, let me think about it.', I knew she didn't want me to go to the circus. But at the time, I was too naive to understand why. As time passed, I started to get more and more persistent. 'Your father will take you to the circus on your birthday, but only if you're a good girl.' my mother had said to me. I was ecstatic. The day father took me to the circus was the last happy day I would have for almost a decade, it was the last day I would see my father and the last time I would see my mother for a long time. I clutched my father's hand as we waited in the ticket line, my brown curls bouncing with me, my blue-grey eyes trying to take every detail in. The circus was filled with so many colours, there were flashing lights everywhere. Popcorn and cotton candy were being sold to any willing buyer. There were lions, monkeys, and elephants balancing on balls. My father mimicked the clowns every time they made a funny face, and I'd laugh at all the jokes, even though I couldn't understand them. When all the performers gathered and bowed, I stood with the rest of the crowd and cheered, that was the last time I was truly happy. Moments later I heard screaming and gun shots. My father grabbed me and started to run, but before we could get to the exit, he was shot. He told me to keep running, but it was too late, someone had grabbed me. I was pulled away from him and dragged out the back door of the circus. The last thing I was that day was the colourful tent go up in flames. My father and I burning with it.

Closing my journal I heard a knock on my door. "It's open", I shouted from across the room, too lazy to go and open the door. With a creak the door slowly open and a boy my age peaked his head in. Looking around the room, when his eyes met mine, he smiled, but you could see the sadness in his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "Are you ready to go? It's almost time for you to leave." he said as he opened the door fully and leaned on the door frame. Tucking my journal in the duffel bag at the foot of my bed I hoisted it onto my shoulder and started walking towards the door. When I was at the door way, I looked over my shoulder and took in my room.

It was a very simple room. A queen bed rest against the back left corner, covered in my favourite cream textile set. A small sitting ledge under the window next to it, peering out over the snow covered grounds. Three large black book shelves lines the right wall, each with six shelves that are lined with memories I've collected over the past nine years. Journals, DVD's, pictures, scrape books from each event; kick knacks from various places I've been to. The left wall was covered in picture frames, all of them with my family and I in them, each representing a wonderful memory. I soaked in everything that made this room mine, and with one last deep breath, I turned and walked out of the room. The boy trailing behind me. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to you know." he said in a small voice. Walking down the halls, passing dozens of identical doors, each leading to someone's room, I headed towards the main hall.

When I approached it I stopped right at the threshold. Turning back and looking at the boy, I took in every little detail. His strong build, light brown hair he refuses to ever brush, the expressive forest green eyes, and the small scar on the upper left side of his cupids bow, from when I had punched him for the first time. "I know Dmitri, but I need to do this. I have to know what life could've been like if I didn't end up here. Besides, it's only for two years; you'll have me back in no time at all."

Smiling sadly at each other we continued on into the main hall. In front of the tall steel doors stood a group of students, or as we call them 'patients', waiting for something, or rather, some one. A small dirty blond haired girl, no older than eight, looked over her shoulder and spotted Dmitri and I. With tears forming in her eyes she ran over to me with her arms open. Dropping my bag on the floor next to me, I crouched down and caught her in a hug. Lifting her up, she wrapped her arms and legs around me tightly, making it somewhat hard to breath. "What's wrong Sarah? Why are you crying?" I asked her in Russian, full well knowing the answer. Untucking her head from my neck she leaned back and stared me in the eye. With a sniffle she responded, "Because you're leaving! I don't want you to leave sissy, I don't want my sissy Kassy to leave me!" she cried. Tucking her head back in my neck I slowly rubbed her back. "It's going to be okay Sarah, I'm not leaving you forever, and I love you too much to do such a thing. I'm only going to be gone for two years, so I'll be back in time for your tenth birthday." I told her, hoping that this would help calm her down.

With another sniffle she asked if I really meant it. "I know for a fact I'm going to be back in time for your tenth birthday. I promise you I will be." I said softly. Letting her down, she seemed to have calmed down for now. Picking up my duffel bag, I took her hand and led her back over to the group of 'patients'. As we got closer more of the group started to acknowledge Dmitri and I's presents. I girl with silky black hair and striking amber eyes was the first to walk towards us. We both stopped walking when there was only a metre space between us. "I'm going to miss you and Dmitri's antics, it's going to be pretty quiet around here now. I wish you didn't have to go Kassy." she said with a depressed undertone. "I've been over this with everyone a thousand times Melissa, I'm going by my own choice, no one is forcing me to do this" I said to her, but I projected my voice so that everyone else would hear me to. Grabbing my shoulders Melissa pulled me into a tight hug, and I hug back with just as much force.

Pulling back she wiped a couple of stray tears off of her flawless face. Trying to hold back tears myself, I stepped past her and approached the rest of the group. There were only four other people here to send me off. Each of them someone I would consider my family, and each of them are the ones who are against me going. Taking Sarah's hand again I went towards a boy that was about her age. Crouching down so that I was eye level with him, I took in the boy that was a mini Dmitri, both of them having light brown hair and green eyes. "Elijah, I need you to do something for me, do you think that you're up to it?" I asked him. His response was to vigorously nod his head. Smiling at the reaction I continued, "I need you to watch over Sarah and all the other low levels in my place until I'm able to do so again. Do you think that you're up to the task?"

With tears sliding down his face he choked out a "yes" before he started sobbing. Unable to hold it back any longer I let tears start to run down my face. Standing up I was faced with a boy, well man, who was a year older than me, but we were near identical in appearances. His dark blue eyes were sad and his snow white hair was unkempt. There were a couple of tears trailing down his face. Taking a deep breath I tried to speak to him without having my voice break, "Make sure you don't have too much fun without me, got it McFly?" my voice cracking at the end. Giving out a broken laugh he smiled, "Only if you promise the same Doc."

With one last look at the group of people I would trust with my life and consider close enough to call my family, I turned and headed towards the steel door that lead to the courtyard entrance. Pulling the heavy doors open, I shivered as the cold February air hit me. Taking hold of Dmitri's hand, we started down the concrete stairs and to the courtyard where a black car with tinted windows waited. As we got closer, the passenger door opened and a man wearing a black three piece suit stepped out and started walking towards us. When we got closer, I started to run at him. He caught me, similar to how I caught Sarah, and hugged me tight. "I'm going to miss you Viktoriya." He said when he let me go. Wiping the rest of my tears away I stood up straight and looked him in the eyes, "I'm going to miss you to Nikolai. Thank you for doing this for me, even if I only get it for a short amount of time."

Turning back I gave Dmitri one last hug before giving Nikolai my duffel and getting into the left back seat. When he was done placing the bag in the trunk Nikolai go back into the passenger seat. "Take us to the airport" he told the driver. As we pulled out of the courtyard and onto the road leading into the city, I looked back one final time at the place I've called home for so long. The last thing I saw was the concrete sign that greeted anyone that came here, Ivanov's Youth Insane Asylum for the Mentally Disturbed.

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Hey everyone... don't really know what to think about this. If you want me to continue tell me.