Chapter 1

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by bri-zy

by bri-zy

"She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul."

-Anonymous

Chapter 1

I watched from the corner of my eye as Lucas yawned, stretching his arms and showing off his calvin-klein worthy biceps. Keeping my head down, I took another bite of my sandwich and tried to pay attention to the book I was reading. Lucas threw his head back laughing at something his friends told him, giving me a flash of his perfectly straight and white teeth and I sighed inwardly to myself.

Ever since he gave me his juice box at the age of 7, I've harbored this insanely massive crush on Westview High's favourite quarterback. His sandy blond hair, his ocean blue eyes, this all-American boy is the main object of lust of almost every girl (and some guys) in our school.

Sighing, I tear my eyes off him and give up on the sandwich. Standing up, I toss it into the bin before leaving for classes.

Everyday, the same old routine repeating itself over and over. Class, watching countless girls throw themselves at him with that same bitter feeling in my gut, more classes, work, then home. My entire life has practically been planned out for me, the road ahead paved and straight-forward.

I grew up the same way every child grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, until the age of 9. That's when it all came tumbling down.

The series of awful events started during my 9th birthday party itself, where my best friend of 7 years announced he was leaving the country. I'd known Warren ever since our mothers met each other at some yoga convention. He was literally my only friend (due to an unfortunate ladybird experience, but that's another story) , and his departure was devastating. I hated group projects in Elementary school, because I would always be stuck with the same outcasts that were just like me, if not weirder.

My family is an entirely different matter.

I can still remember my parents taking me out every weekend to visit Grandma, and we would always grabbed pancakes before we left the city. I remember laughing at my moms awful jokes and my dads bad singing, thinking about how wonderful my family was.

Then after a while, I felt my mom slowly disappear from my life. It wasn't a sudden thing, it happened very gradually and now looking back, I can't believe I didn't see the signs.

She stopped cracking jokes, she stopped going to Grandma's house and soon enough, she stopped smiling altogether.

When I was 11, I overheard my mom telling someone on the phone that she loved him, and she would do anything at all for him.

"Mommy? Is that daddy? Can I say hi?"

My mother stared at me for a full 5 seconds (I counted) before she hung up the phone and burst into tears. She gave me a huge hug and told me she loved me, and she would always be here for me and I would never have to feel alone.

She lied.

The next morning I woke up, she was gone. There was no note, no explanation, no nothing. She left my dad with a broken heart and a broken soul, and she left me motherless.

After that, my father could hardly bear looking me in the eye anymore. I was the exact copy of my mother; same dark, curly hair, same deep brown eyes, and seeing me was just a reminder for the woman he failed to keep. He began busying himself with more and more work responsibility, and not before long her came home about once a week, spending all his time and energy devoted to his job.

The more you care for someone, the deeper the scar they'll make when they eventually leave you. I've kept this mentality around myself for years, shrouding myself in an air of unapproachable-ness and so far, what's left of my heart is still intact, the walls around it unbroken and tall.

And I was sure it would always be that way.

AN:

Hey hey hey guys, what's up? New story! :)

What do you guys think about Sam? Yay or Nay?

Meanwhile, check out Somebody Out There by A Rocket To the Moon. It's not entirely relevant, but it is a beautiful song. :)

Love, Bri