Fifty Shades Of Grey: My Years With Elena #Explicit [Fifty Shades] #fanfic

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

I sit at Elena's beautiful dining table in her new apartment, not far from the Esclava Salon, for one of our regular catch-ups. Elena does understated elegance almost as well as my mother. The table is dark glossy wood, surrounded by comfortable but stylish padded chairs covered in some kind of grey damask. A large vase dominates the table, full of one of Elena's favourite flowers - limelight hydrangeas. Elena had hooked up with Adam again over the holiday season. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. I should be irritated, annoyed...jealous even. Oddly I feel none of those things. I'm actually happy she seems finally be strong enough to move on from Linc and from...us. I didn't like the thought of her being alone since Valena moved across town to be nearer the new branch of Esclava, which opened recently. She will be managing that branch whilst Elena manages the original one. Secretly though, I'm relieved I won't be seeing Val around as much as I did before. She hadn't taken the break-up well - becoming all clingy and begging me to continue our secret relationship. But I was determined to get on with my life - and in all honestly, the guilt of 'cheating' on Elena with her best friend was eating me up inside. Valena's extreme reaction proved I'd made the right decision - I mean, who even does that to a best friend, with seemingly no thought for their feelings whatsoever? The opportunity to waive their repayments to me and instead reinvesting the money in a new property was a Godsend. It was actually Bastille saying he wished Esclava was nearer to his home, which gave me the idea. All four of us went on a scouting mission and stumbled across a ramshackled shop, which was in the perfect location. A total refit and a bit of TLC later, Esclava II was up and running - and Valena had spent the whole time flirting with Bastille. Whether she was genuinely interested in him or just doing that to get to me, remains to be seen. Either way, I really don't care.

"What are you thinking about?" Elena asks as she pours me a glass of ice cold Sancerre.
"Just thinking of Claude and Valena and their 'hooking up'. " I smile.
Elena nods. "I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. It's taken a long time, but finally she's getting everything she so richly deserves." She smiles fondly. "I think they'll be a really good match..."
"I hope so..."
Especially if it gets her off my back...
Maybe random hook-ups are all the rage at the moment. I sigh as an image of Terri floats in my mind. Elena leans across and squeezes my hand.
"Darling...what is it?"
I take a deep breath. I didn't really want to share this with Elena but I have to tell someone. "I...I was a bit reckless in New York." I whisper.
Elena frowns. "Reckless? How? I thought you just said everything went well?"
"On a business level, it was exemplary." I screw my eyes closed momentarily and sigh. "On my last night there...I...I picked up a call girl."
Elena's grip on my hand intensifies for a few seconds then she lets go and grips her wine glass.
"YOU. DID. WHAT?" She hisses.
"I know, okay? But...I've been working so hard and literally falling exhausted into bed...only to be woken up by persistent nightmares."
Elena inhales sharply. "Persistent nightmares? Oh darling...I thought they were getting better?"
I take a long slug of Sancerre and barely register its descent. "They were. But at Christmas mom gave me an old box of my stuff she'd found in the attic. It was basically some old books, pennants etc. But there was also this scrapbook from shortly after I'd been adopted that mom had made. I had a flick through and a passport photo fell out. It was of my birth mom." I close my eyes again as the image flits behind my eyelids. I feel Elena grasp my hand again. I open my eyes and stare into my wine glass. "Anyway...that's when the nightmares became more frequent."
"Does Grace know?" She asks gently.
"Oh God no!" I exclaim. "I'd never tell her, she'd just get upset and blame herself. I'm discussing it all with Flynn and he thought some short-term sleeping pills may also help, but you know how anti-drugs I am."
She strokes her thumb over my knuckles. "Oh Christian, I'm so sorry."
I nod. "So...there I was on my last night in NYC - getting wasted at the bar in the hope it would be enough to let me sleep in peace - and that's when I met Terri."
"So it wasn't planned?"
"No! She was pretty, sexy and I was immediately attracted to her."
"Well I hope you were sensible enough to use protection."
"Yes of course."
"Well that's something. God only knows how many men she'd slept with, she could have been carrying anything. You didn't kiss her did you?"
Oh Christ...
I shift uncomfortably in my seat. She intensifies her grip on my hand. "Christian?"
Okay, here goes...
"Yes. We kissed okay. A lot. She also sucked me off and I went down on her. It was the height of recklessness, but it was also amazing and exactly what I needed."
Elena gapes and then glares at me.
"And before you ask, as soon as I got back I went and got tested. I'm in the clear."
Thank fuck.
Elena lets out a breath and takes a sip of wine. "But how do you know this girl won't track you down and expose you? The Internet is getting bigger, the nets spreading wider and privacy is getting thinner."
I nod. "I know, but I honestly did everything I could to cut all association. I gave her a large sum of money so she could re-locate back to her native New Zealand with her little girl. Her husband died on September 11th and she's really had it tough. She was only a call girl to save the money for the airfare to go back and be with her family. She doesn't even know my name."
"I see. And how did you manage to organise all this?"
"Barney helped me. He flew in with the cash. The man is a saint. But I have a meeting with Welch next week as I've asked him to look into finding me some kind of personal assistant/close protection. It's unfair of me to put on Barney so much. I need someone on call twenty-four-seven - preferably one who can also drive as I'd get so much more work done if I didn't drive all the time."
Elena stands. "Wait there, I'll be back in a moment."
I nod bemused. I finish off my glass of Sancerre and pour myself another.
Something tells me I may need it...
In all the time I have known her, I've come to realise that Elena is the mistress of never giving too much away. Even as my Sub she was reserved - when I would have liked her to be more open. The only time I ever saw a sliver of vulnerability was when I found her after that poor excuse for a human being had beaten her up...
Bastard.
She returns moments later with a wad of A4 white paper with typing covering the top page. Splitting the wad into two, she pushes them across the table to me. I pick one up in each hand.
"What are these?" I ask, confused.
"That," she says tapping the papers in my left hand. "Is a nondisclosure agreement or NDA. It's basically a legal document employees sign to protect areas of confidentiality pertaining to their employer. And that," she taps the papers in my right hand. "Is a BDSM contract."
WHAAAAATTTT????
I feel rather than see the NDA slip out of my grasp as I grip the BDSM contract with both hands.
"Why do you need a BDSM contract?" I whisper.
She sits down and takes a slug of wine. "Adam has started to use them with all his Subs. I was a bit affronted at first, but really when you read through it all, it makes sense. He said he sees it as a way of keeping his Subs safe, so that both parties know what they are comfortable with and know what their limits are."
"Limits?"
"Everybody has soft and hard limits, Christian. For example with you, caning is a soft limit - not something you particularly enjoy receiving, but you tolerate it, and touching would be a hard limit - something you totally cannot tolerate. Obviously as a Dom no one would be caning you, but...do you understand?"
Jesus...
I nod as I stare at the words on the paper.
Anal fisting? Holy fuck...
"You and Adam...he...he...does all this to you..?" I try but fail to keep the horror out of my voice.
"Christian...Adam and I...it's a complex relationship." She sighs.
"But we..." I swallow. "We didn't need a contract."
Elena shakes her head slowly. "Darling...our relationship didn't need one. You were young and knew nothing of the lifestyle, plus you were going through such an awful time...I know it may not seem that way looking back, but I honestly treated you with kid gloves."
My head is swimming. All this time I had thought I knew what BDSM was all about, when in truth I'm a total novice.
"Christian, please don't overthink this. Like I said it is literally an agreement between Dom and Submissive. Take it with you and read it when you have had time to digest. Go to Angelica's, make notes and have a good think about what you are comfortable with and what you want out of a Sub. The NDA is a legal document and requires more of your immediate attention - if you don't want your staff selling a story about you."
I feel the blood drain from my face. I cannot begin to fathom the enormity of what would happen if any of my staff uncovered my secrets and went to the press. I feel Elena press something against the back of my hand. I look down and find a business card.
"Read through both the contract and NDA thoroughly and make notes. When you are satisfied as to what both documents should contain in your case, ring Harry and he'll draft them up for you."
"How do I know I can trust this guy?" I ask, gazing uncertainly at the card.
Law Offices of Harrison Clarke, Private Lawyer...
"Adam has known Harry for a number of years and is a very close and trusted friend," She takes a deep breath. "And a fellow Dom."
"FUCK!" The curse flies out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Sorry, Elena." I mumble. "I just never thought of a Lawyer as a Dom."
Elena smiles. "Oh you'd be surprised at the amount of highly professional people that follow the lifestyle. They don't all work in an art gallery like Adam."
I nod slowly. "I just feel like I'm way out of my depth."
Elena grabs either side of my jaw suddenly, surprising me. "Christian, you can do this. You've already proved yourself with me, with Terri and technically with Davina too. You have the makings of an amazing Dom. Just believe in yourself."
I smile reluctantly. "You've always told me to do that." I say softly.
"Yes...you'd think by now you'd have actually taken it in!"
I chuckle as her ice-blue eyes dance with mirth. I then realise it's been almost a year since she last held my face like this...since we were last...intimate. It dawns on me that I now no longer get Goosebumps or butterflies in my stomach at her touch. There was a time - when I thought I was in love with her - that the merest brush of her hand against mine was enough to get me hard.
WOW. I really have moved on...
"You know you mean the world to me don't you, Christian?"
I grab her hands off my face and kiss her chastely across the knuckles. "You mean a lot to me too Elena...but I'm into brunettes now..."
Her eyes widen and I cannot stop the bubble of laughter that escapes from my throat at her expression. I let go of her hands. "Thanks, Elena. You always did know how to make me feel better."
She tilts her head and regards me as she takes a slug of wine, an odd expression on her face. I open my mouth to query it, but then she stands up, squares her shoulders and clears her throat.
"It's getting late and we both have early starts in the morning."
Huh?
"Elena...is everything okay?"
"Yes, fine." She says lightly, but her tone is brittle and I feel like the atmosphere between us has dropped by several degrees. I stand and grasp her chin. "
"Hey...you and me...we've moved on...Haven't we..?"
"Yes...of course. I'm..." She takes a deep breath and sighs. "I'm just tired, Christian."
I frown and then kiss her cheek. "I'll be in touch. Thank you for the paperwork and for looking out for me."
"Always." She whispers softly.