Suffering With Despair [Completed]

1

"Dancing bears, painted wings. Things I almost remember."

-


Starring into the star filled sky. I hummed a familiar tone that had stayed with me since the beginning.


The soft soothing tone made my heartbeats even. No longer pounding it's way out of me. It made me feel at ease.


-

"In this song, someone sings; once upon a december."

-


But no longer could my broken heart take this. No more. It has reached it's limit.


~

"Someone hold me safe and warm."

-


"See? If it weren't for you, we could've been happy. Without worrying about the bad things. But you, had to ruin it all."


I'm sorry. I really mean it, but to you, it was meant as an insult.


"Mommy, I'm so 一"


"Get out of my sight!"


Sorry.


-

"Someone holds me safe and warm, horses prance through a silver storm."

-


"Dad, why did you do this to me? Don't you care about us?"


My father 'tch'ed. And turned his back onto me. "Your a disgrace. Worse than your mother's family. You have no place in this world. Disappear."


With that, my father left. Leaving me alone in a dark place.


-

"Figures dancing gracefully. Across my memories."

-


"Shut it! I don't want to hear it. This is all your fault!"


This had happened so many times, that I lost count. You just had to slap me after being infuriated with me.


-


"Far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember. Things my heart use to know. Things it yarns to remember. "


-

"Why are you wearing that!? Don't I buy you fancy clothes for you to wear?"


"Why do you have to change like I don't buy you damm clothes! People will think I badly of me! Don't you understand?!"


Yeah, that's all you ever cared.


Mother.


Father.


What about your daughter?


-


"Love you."


Those words were just plain and simple. They held no meaning to me. Nor towards you.


"Okay."


Is all I said before I walked into my room. The only place that won't hurt me just like what you did to me.


-


"Mommy loves you sweetheart."


"Okay."


But every touch, hug or kiss. It made me burn, and tremble with disgust.


What made you change?


Was it because father left, and you were no longer the person he loved? Or is it because you now took noticed of your daughter's presence, and her pain?


-

"In this song someone sings; once upon a december."

~


For the last time, I looked up into the stars and the moon. Intoxicated by it's beauty. From the rooftop of my house. I kept walking towards the edge. Ready to end my pain.


"Goodbye."