Breaking Free

Chapter 1.

The wind whipped my hair against my face and light droplets or rain fell from the dark overcast sky. Looking up at the stars I wished with all my heart, not for money, fame or even popularity, no, my only wish was for happiness. All I wanted was for this pain to stop, for there to be some kind of light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dim, no matter how far. Right now any kind of hope would do, I would hold on to it tight and never let go. The anger inside me built up mixed with the feeling of helplessness. It was always my fault, never was anything I did good enough. It was always you can do better , why can't you be more like your brother Evie? Sighing in defeat I simply sat on the bench string up at the mixture of black, blues and purples in the night sky.

By now I was soaked through, numb and tired, yet I still lay there with no desire to move. A part of me hoped the darkness would consume me, that I could simply just disappear, leave this small town behind, run away and forget about everything, new identity, new people, new life and a new start. A breath of fresh air.

I slid my phone out of my coat pocket, 21:43 flashed on the screen, 4 text messages, 3 missed calls. Not even bothering to check them I switched my phone off and stuffed it back into my pocket, drifting back into my thoughts. A mixture of the days events played over and over in my head, the words that stung, the hurt and feeling of betrayal. Knowing that eventually I would have to go home sooner or later, I forced my tired numb body up from the bench, my clothes felt heavy, weighed down by the rain. I was cold, almost too cold to move, the numbness weighing me down.

However somehow I still managed to make it home, not that my parents would notice they were away this weekend at a wedding reception out of town. They decided to stay in a hotel. Finally I reached the front door of my house, thrusting the key inside to open it, before locking it firmly behind me. Forcing my self upstairs , I walked into my room to get a change of clothes and a warm shower. The hot water relaxing my muscles and returning colour to my frozen skin. After drying off and getting changed to my pyjamas I fell Into a deep sleep.

Bright light forced itself in through the gap in my curtains, dancing around my room. My first instinct was to snuggle back down under my duvet and go back to sleep, forget my troubles. Sleep was the only escape I had. Life at home was difficult enough, always getting blamed and scolded for things that were not my fault, being compared to my brother. Very time an argument arose between me or my brother, my parents always took his side. In their eyes he was the perfect child. Whatever he wanted he got, his needs always put before mine. Then there was my little sister who took up the rest of my parents time, they dotted on her too. I don't hate my siblings, it's not their fault. I couldn't hate them after all they are family. It just felt so hard, like a competition, like I was never important enough. They always boasted about my brother and sister, Kaiden is doing well in university, Rosie painted a beautiful picture. Never are any of my accomplishments taken into account, the landscapes I paint, my A grades, the award I won at school. However my problems were always pointed out. I could always do better or I was a disappointment to them. This was usually followed by a slap, kick or shove. Each bruise from the ones on my top left arm to my stomach and thigh each told their own story. I fell is an excuse that will only suffice for a short amount of time. Matters such as my dearest parents shouting at me when I fell and broke my arm for taking up and wasting their time.

School was worse, sure I had a few close friends, but if you think my family life was hard, it is nothing compared to school. The rumours, hair pulling, name calling and sniggers that followed me around the corridors all day. It hurt more than anything. But I never let it show. I kept mostly to my self, building walls around me high enough to make sure that any emotion could never escape, I was adamant not to show any weakness, my mask the most precious thing I had, hiding any true underlying emotion I had. For that people always thought I was strong, a person that was not easily scared or influenced, I was thought to be headstrong and versatile. If they only knew how weak I was under the whole facade, if only they knew how alone I really felt.

However this Saturday morning I decided things would change, for a while since July last year I had been saving up my wages, it was now getting to the end of march and I had just turned 17. My plan was simple, keep saving my wages till the end of April, collect the necessities I need, then leave for good. Along with the wages I needed I had also saved up my allowance of $60 a month and taken $30 dollars every now and again out of my bank account. Some of this I spent on some new clothes, nothing expensive just things I wouldn't normally ware and things no one had seen to make it harder for people to find me. Along with this I had stocked up on coloured contact lenses and a bottle of hair-dye. The plan was to dye my blond curly hair brown and put in brown eye coloured contacts so I would look somewhat different. To buy me some time, I would do this when my parent were down visiting my brother in university with Rosie. I would leave my phone behind and get at least 2 days head start. Four more days and I will be free and ready to leave this place. For good.