Slowly rising up from bed everyday had started to become a nightmare. Nothing would ever improve, it would only get worse. Watching my family fall apart was like dying every time I would open my eyes. It had such a long time period, I kept wondering when there would be an end.
When I was smaller, I had a working mother, drunk father, paranoid sister, and a tolerant brother. They all felt more like strangers rather than family, besides my older brother Shawn. At first he was loyal, truthful, and loving, until he completely drifted to another world. When we were growing up, Shawn's daily routine was watching our drunk father abuse our mom, hearing our dad curse at our whole family, and putting up to the abuse. It was extremely dreadful. But it was even more painful watching these things happen to him. Sadly enough, these were only a couple things that happened in his daily routine , there were still a million more.
Growing up, Shawn and I would always work as a team. We were more like partners in crime rather than siblings. Whenever my parents got in a fight, we would always get together and beat the shit out of my dad until he was unconscious. It would be fun, but at the same time it was a moment that would nearly kill us on the inside. No child should ever be forced to raise his hand to his parents. But the sad part was, raising our hand was ordinary. This did not discourage my father, his ego would just get stronger and stronger until one day, he took it too far.
Shawn, I really miss you because you have gone so far, there is no way I can get you back. It hurts to say that it all happened in front of my eyes. Can you come back? I really do miss you!
I was your baby sister and you treat me like I am a stranger. You kicked me out of your life like I meant nothing to you.
I hope your happy when my dead body will be lying in front of you because you did not support me when I needed you very badly. Death scares me which is why I wanna give up really fast. Everyone will be shocked but I wonder if anyone will react like they care? How about we try and found out...
Saturday July 25, 2016
A dead body was found in the water of the Golden Gate Bridge. Done! My life was finished and my dream was complete. I died young. Dream come true... Any thing to say Shawn? The day you told me that you were finished, I was already lying in my casket.
