The Hardest Choice

Guilt And Remorse

Satvik had missed the bus and so had to take an auto rickshaw to reach home. While travelling, all the events of the day came to him like a slide show. He could not have ever thought that he would beat up Nikhil in front of the whole school. Then he thought of Anukriti's condition. He had never felt so guilty and wretched like today when he was so engrossed in satiating his ego that he could not go to his best friend and help her when she needed him the most. He mentally agreed with Shreya when she said that they did not deserve to be called her best friends.

Satvik's father was anxious so when he reached home, he barged him with a lot of questions.

"Where were you? I was really worried. Have you seen the time? It's 3:30 already and you come at 2:30 normally. I called up the school gate and they said that the buses have left. I then called your mother and she was worried too. "

" Why are you getting so hyper? I am not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself and you. I just missed my bus and it took a while to find an auto and so got late", he replied brusquely, glaring at his ailing father.

While he was about to go to his room, his father looked at his face closely and touched the wounds. Satvik winced with pain. He hadn't noticed his dishevelled appearance and the wounds till then.

"What the heck did you do to yourself? Tried to be a hero and save a girl? Or involved in a scuffle with a guy?"he enquired while continuing with his physical examination.

"Jeez......that hurts dad. Don't touch it there. I had a little fight with Nikhil. Is that all or do you want to ask me more questions?" he again was being rude. But this time his mother heard. His father had forgotten to bolt the door and so his mother entered and stood at the drawing room for a while.

"Satvik, do you have any manners or you have left them at the doorstep before coming in? Is this the way you talk to your father? "Suniti banged her hand on the table.

Sorry mom and dad. Please let me be alone for some time. I am right now in no state to talk", Satvik pleaded.

"Okay. If that makes you feel better, go ahead. But let me first put some medicines on your injuries. "She knew that her son would tell her his litany of woes after some time. He never hid things from his mother except Anu's proposal. He agreed.

The condition of his face was not very good. Blood was coming from the nose. There were cuts below the left eye and his upper lip was swollen. His stomach also hurt like hell. His mother gave him a ice pack to apply on his nose. He was really exhausted and so he retired to bed and took a good two hours nap.

After waking up, he changed and went for his tuitions. He thought that it would distract his mind but it did not. He was not at all concentrating on whatever was being taught and was rather looking outside. His friend Harsh noticed his change in behaviour and asked him to bunk tuition and go home.

"Saale, tujhe kya hua(What happened to you)? You look like a typical 'aashiq' failed in love", Harsh interrogated Satvik good naturedly.

Satvik narrated the whole story to him, not missing the intricate details. Harsh looked at him with a shock and after completion of the story said, "I am actually thinking of a poster for your story. Ah! Got it. It should be Aashiqui 3 starring Satvik, Nikhil and Anukriti as the leads."

"Hehe. The movie would be a flop for sure", Satvik whispered.

"I would ask my elder sister Arushi to write a book on your love story. She is a good writer, just out of concepts right now. No. It would rather be the biggest blockbuster. By the way can I see a picture of Nikhil? It is good to know the skills of your competitor", Harsh asked.

"Let her write. It is not going to be published, so no problem", then Satvik showed him the group photo took in November. He told him that it was taken at a time when Nikhil was recuperating with his illness. He didn't mention the word suicide, because somewhere at the back of his mind he thought that it would make people judgemental about Nikhil.

"He does have good looks. You know what you are the biggest idiot I saw in my life. If you had agreed to her at that point then you would have been in relationship for so many years, without all this drama", Harsh said.

At that point the teacher saw them talking and in a cold voice he said," Get out you two. And if I saw you
talking next time, I would call your parents."

"Sorry sir", Satvik put on a puppy face and said.

"Get out", he said with a poker face.

After going out they looked at each other and Harsh said," Let's go to my house for some time. "

"Okay", Satvik replied. He felt that it would distract his mind.

It was a two bedroom apartment and was messed up. Harsh's room was looking like a store room more than a normal one with clothes and books strewn here and there.

"Want a drink?" No one is here, so you can have it." Harsh smirked at him.

"Saale I haven't seen a bigger tanker than you. No thanks. I don't want to act like Dharmendra in Sholay. "

He offered him a can of Coca Cola and laughed." I was asking you for a cold drink. I don't drink beer myself. "

Satvik after gulping it down relaxed a bit and then Harsh said," I feel that you should apologise to Nikhil for what had happened today. "

Satvik looked at Harsh angrily and firmly replied," No never. Thanks for the cold drink and now I am leaving."
Before Harsh could say anything more, Satvik had got out.

After reaching home Satvik had an emotional breakdown. For years he had never said his problems to anyone. His agitation, his desires were all crushed in the sense of duty towards his father. It had made him mature beyond his age. He actually felt really ashamed of what he did today but his ego was not letting him say sorry to him.

By the time he had his dinner, it was already 10. His mother then asked him what had happened today. He told her everything. He was relaxing a bit as he narrated his side of the story to his mother. She was horrified when she got to know about Anu's cancer. She loved Anu as her own daughter. Suniti wanted to cry but instead she gave Satvik emotional support with her soothing words.

After an exhausting day, Satvik finally retired to the bedroom but he could not sleep. Events replayed his mind again and again. How he used to take care of her when she broke down, when once she was engrossed in some soft board decoration work and neglected food, how he had managed her to convince to take her lunch first, how he and Anu had together helped Nikhil to stand up and fight again and now everything was finished in a rubble.