Quarter High Chronicles: Fight for the Spotlight

Me and the Mirror

I woke up with worry racing through my mind. Today is audition day. It's okay. You can do this. Don't be afraid. You're the best Emily Sparks there is. No one fits this part better than you. Usually a girl would be hanging out with her friends over the weekend. But me, I'm auditioning for the most important role of my life. I have dreamed of being Peter Pan's lover, Wendy, for as long as I can remember. The only problem is, I have competition and I can NOT lose this part. "You can do this. Don't be afraid. You're the best Emily Sparks there is." I say these words over and over while looking at myself in the dirty school bathroom mirror. Thankfully auditions aren't held during the school week so I have a moment or two to calm myself. Usually the bathroom is filled with girls reapplying makeup, fixing their hair and gossiping. Right now, there is just me and a mirror.
I have to be focused. In thirty minutes I have to be onstage, three forty-five exactly. This is not any ordinary day, it is the most important day of my life. Wow, Emily, calm down. That was way too dramatic but still this is very serious. I have to beat the girl who has won the lead every year that she has tried. No pressure. I think sarcastically. No, Emily. I think trying to install some confidence. You can do this. You will beat Nancy Breeland. I will be Wendy. I'm not afraid. I'm the best Emily Sparks that there is. As I'm in mid sentence of the fourth time repeating the same phrase, I'm interrupted by a bing from my phone, it is Carter telling me to get to the theater ASAP. They have already started with the auditions and Nancy went first. Carter says she did Bop to the Top with Jenny. Nancy was Sharpay, from High School Musical. No doubt Nancy forced Jenny to be Ryan.
I walk into the auditorium, thankfully Ms.D is calling another name and I am not disrupting someone's performance. I see Carter sitting beside an empty seat and quickly make my way to it. When the guy starts singing, the anxiety hits me stronger than before. I am going to have to do that. I will have up walk up on that stage and I am going to have to act and sing! What was I thinking?! Omg! I can not do this. I frantically look around and there are like fifteen other people. They have blank faces. See, Emily they don't care, so why are you freaking out? Yeah! No, need to freak. You were born to play this role. I mean with my mid back length straightish-wavy brown hair and green eyes I could definitely be a Wendy! Not to mention how well Carter and I work together. There is no way he isn't getting Peter Pan and I can't even imagine him having to work with Nancy! Instead of focusing on my anxiety I focus on my performance. I silently go over my monologue one last time. I will not mess up. I will be Wendy.
I am so focused that I don't hear Ms.D calling my name. I jump fifteen feet out of the red auditorium seat when I feel a hand on my shoulder. It is Carter.
"Woah! You okay? I didn't mean to scare you." Carter says. I don't look at him, I keep my eyes straight on the stage that is awaiting me.
"Oh yeah, no. I'm fine. It's just. I'm going next. And. I'm freaking out." I'm so stupid, I can barley form a structured sentence.
"Emily?!" I hear Ms.D call again. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Carter. He stands up so he could be seen from the stage, where Ms.D stands with a clipboard in hand.
"Give us one sec." Carter says demandingly.
"The theater doesn't have just one sec!" Ms. D yells but Carter ignores her and sits back down beside me. "Emily, hey, look at me."
I turn my head slowly to face him.
"Okay, I want you to close your eyes." I comply.
"Next, I want you to think of everything that's making you nervous right now and breathe it in. Then I want you to breathe it right back out and pretend like it was never there in the first place." He pauses the asks, "Okay?". I nod and take a second. I know everyone is waiting on me, but Carter had this sense of calmness around him that makes everything disappear. I take the deep breathe in. Hold it as long as I can, and let it out.
"You good? Stay calm and do everything we practiced." Carter says barely above a whisper as I open my eyes. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. My heart beat quickens but I don't think it is due to stage fright, this time. I can feel everyone's eyes on me but they will be staring at me the same down here as up there so I get used to the feeling.
"Yep! I'm much better." I reply as I get up.
"Break a leg." I hear Carter say as I walk from the audience to the steps leading to the stage. The lights hit me and the fifteen people in the audience disappear. I take a deep breath and a big smile appears on my face as every word I rehearsed comes out perfectly. When it's time for the song, the lyrics flowed out as precise as they could have. I hit every note and sing every lyric with pin point accuracy. As I walk off the stage feeling proud and confident, Carter and I meet eyes and I head towards him with a big smile that mirrors his. When I make it back to the aisle that holds my seat, Ms.D calls Carter's name. Carter stands up and I stay on the outside of the aisle so he can get through. "You killed it, Sparks!" He excitedly shouts giving me a high five while flashing me a perfect smile.
"Did you expect anything less?" I ask jokingly.
As Carter walked onto the stage he sang like no other man boy I have ever heard before. He's totally getting the lead. As I was analyzing Carters performance and rooting him on, out the corner of my eye I see someone take the seat beside me. I keep my eyes on Carter not wanting to miss anything but the smell of lavender hits me and as the overwhelming feeling of distaste rolls over me I realize it is Nancy.
"Hey, Emily, just a friendly FYI." She says with a sickly sweet tone before continuing with, "I have been the lead in the musical for the past three years and I don't doubt that I will be the lead my last year. I just don't want you to get your hopes up. It was pretty much automatically assigned to me before the auditions. Although, the auditions wouldn't of helped you much anyways since you were about 15 cents flat on that high note.mI have perfect hearing. But other than that you did- mediocre."  I roll my eyes. Don't let her ruin this moment for you. Don't let her get to you. You did amazing that is why she is doing this. She is threatened. I chant as I breath in a calming breath. "I would offer you voice lessons but I don't think even I could help you." Nancy says and I loose all control. I feel the anger growing in my chest. She cannot say crap like this and get away with it! This is absolutely ridiculous! I practiced my butt off to prepare for my audition and had to spend a lot of energy building my confidence and she thinks she can just tear me down? No! I will not allow this! It is not okay!
I turn making my green eyes meet her dirt colored ones as the most fake smile I could muster is plastered on my face. "Well FYI, last time I heard, ego can't win you a spot in a musical. Talent is what gets you places." I say in the most mocking voice I can muster.
Nancy is quick with a comeback, "If you're trying to get places with talent, then it looks like you're going no where.".
I'm ready to tell Nancy all the terrible things I've wanted to say to her since we first met. My knuckles are clenched by my side and I give that artificial, terrible, human being, if she can even be considered that, a glare that I reserve only for Nancy freaking Breeland. My words of acrimony are festering deep inside me. I open my mouth to share my feelings but am interrupted by Carter who calmly walks up to us with his stupid smile that slowly melts my anger away. I guess he could see the obvious tension.
"Hey, guys. What's going on?" He says.
"Oh nothing, just having a little fun with theater banter for the lead roll. Nothing to be worried about." Nancy replies batting her false eyelashes. I am beyond irritated right now although no longer shaking with anger, thanks to Carter's calming presence.
"Are you sure?" He asks Nancy who nods her head. "You sure?" He turns to me.
Threw clenched teeth I reply, "Yep!".
"Y'all seem pretty tense." He says knowing I'm not actually okay and a full blown cat fight is ready to erupt any second now.
"No, We're fine. Like she said, just a little bit of banter." I lie a little better this time. I don't want to tell Carter the truth because honestly, I'm worn out with this whole thing and I need to calm down before I punch all of that contour off Nancy's stupid face. She is always going to be a butt head so I might as well not egg her on.
"Okay, well it looks like we are done here. Emily, do you want to head out?" Carter asks.
"Yeah." I say not braking eye contact with Carter, knowing he is the only thing keeping me sane. "That's a good idea."
I stand up but before I could exit the seating aisle Nancy says, "Oh so you don't need a ride from Sam?". She almost sounds innocent.
"Nope." I answer stepping into the walkway and leave the theater with Carter at my side.
"Agh! I freaking hate her so much!!!!" I scream when we get outside.
"What did she say?" Carter asks.
I pause and rethink over what really that conversation was about. "She insulted my singing." I say with a chuckle realizing how ridiculous it would have been to get in a fight over a nonentity person's irrelevant options.
"Don't listen to her. You sounded perfect to me." He says charmingly.
"Thanks." I say with a small smile. After a second I say, "Hey Carter?".
"Yeah?" He replies as we make it to his red mustang.
"Do you think I could come over and play the freaky killer game?" I say opening the passenger's side door.
"Haha of corse!" He answers as we get in. Carter and I have not been friends for long but we have a really awesome connection, kinda like mine and Annabelle's. Honestly, having Carter and Annabelle in my corner keeps me sane. They know just how to talk to me to calm me down and how to make me smile when all I want to do is cry.